Our Shared Shelf discussion

I saw this play when I was about 12/13 when my sister was in it. And the only monologue that stuck with me through adulthood until I read the physical book recently was the monologue about hair. I was at a time in my life where i was heading into high school, and debating about shaving my pubic hair because 'all the other girls were doing it,' and 'all the boys think hair is gross' i made a whole video about this on my youtube. I shaved ALL my pubic hair for YEARS due to peer pressure from women and men who were 'interested' in me a at the time 14yo girl, who barely understood her vagina as it is. I shaved every single hair until I was twenty-one. The I realized NO WAY. So I stopped for awhile, then grew out my bush then shaved it all off again and looked at my naked vagina and thought "wow this looks wrong, i look like I'm a little girl" and thats when i realized why bare vaginas are so sexualized, because forever youthful women is what so many men think and are taught to think is sexy. Lots of hair around your vagina shows your grown, shows you've lived, you've seen things, you've had sex, you've been with men or women or both or yourself. Having a bush shows that you love your vagina and your natural body, the one society and hollywood loves to try and make us hate. Having vaginal hair shows men and other women that you reject the patriarchy.

That being said, I have no issue with women shaving, or waxing, i just think every woman who does should stop and think, why are you shaving? If the answer is because you truly love the way you feel when your vagina is hairless, then GIRL YOU SHAVE THAT HAIR. But if you're shaving because you've been conditioned to think that's what you SHOULD be doing, then stop, grow out your bush and learn to love it and THEN decide if you want to shave or not. I do the same with all the hair on my body. Sometimes I remove it, sometimes I leave it. But at the end of the day, it's up to me and what I want and feel and need and love that determines if I remove the hair or let it grow.

I know there are much more disturbing and emotional pieces in this collection, and i adored everyone, as a queer rape survivor, but for some reason, the monologue 'hair' has ALWAYS been the one that sticks with me and i think for the reasons i just listed it always will. What were you ladies favorite monologue?

Molly wrote: "I saw this play when I was about 12/13 when my sister was in it. And the only monologue that stuck with me through adulthood until I read the physical book recently was the monologue about hair. I ..."

How glad I am to hear somebody, at last, expressed the opinion that we do NOT have to shave but at the same time, didn't claim that women who shave always try to conform to some standards.

"If the answer is because you truly love the way you feel when your vagina is hairless, then GIRL YOU SHAVE THAT HAIR." - I daresay that it's that freedom to choose whether we want to shave or not that we're striving for. Feminism isn't all about leaving your pubes be, like some stereotypes suggest. Feminists in my country are often made fun of and associated with naked breasts and underarm hair. But it's so much more than that. If you don't want to shave, this is only natural. If you do because you feel more comfortable like that, then do as you please and nobody has the right to determine whether you're a feminist or not.

As for my favourite, or rather most memorable monologue, I would like everyone to take some time to appreciate the woman who was raped during the war and decided to talk about it. No matter how many conventions on human rights are established, how hard we try to protect ourselves against rape, this is always going to be somehow 'overlooked' or 'misinterpreted'.

No matter how we approach vaginas, let us appreciate and admire them or completely forget about them if we prefer, but let them not be a grim reminder of something traumatic that once happened.
I haven't heard of a country where rape is not a major problem and if someone has, then please let me know. I'd love to study what could possibly lead to an abuse-free society.
At the end of the day, it appears humans aren't as 'civilised' as we may think if we're not able to resist our animal instincts.

I liked your message, Molly :-)

My favorite monologue so far (I've not yet reached the end of the book, and I think I'll read some of the monologues a second time) is "The Flood". I felt like seeing a movie, hearing this old lady telling her story, visualizing in it flashbacks. The image of the flood is quite poetic, in my opinion. And it's good to read about the views of an old person on sexuality - we never get those.

One's vagina is ALREADY hairless - it is the internal canal. If one is shaving, it is the VULVA where the hair grows.
It really upsets me that people cannot seem to get this straight.

I don't have a favourite monologue, but the ones that stick with me the most are the ones about the rape and the girl without a vagina.

I just wish it would be more inclusive, and get the facts right.

Actually the monologue about the pubic hair was really powerful for me as well. After Ive read it I started to appreciate my pubic hair and do not feel as compelled anymore to shave. Beforehand, I already thought about how weird it is that people or men expect women to shave off their pubic hair but I also felt a bit pressured into doing it as 'everyone shave it' and I had a hard time to actually just not do it. After the monologue I let my hair grow out and just go for what I feel like, which is the important part in my opinion.
But the most powerful monologue when seeing the play was the one about the moaning. I thought it was such an interesting story about how this woman felt like she should be quiet and people were actually judging her about that she moans when having sex. We should just enjoy and not live up to social norms as much which makes them less powerful at the same time...
Also, now that I've read that there are 5 more monologues in the anniversary edition I'd love to read those, and hopefully i'll get my hands on one of those editions soon...