Support for Indie Authors discussion

The feedback in this forum has been incredible so I thought I'd ask for help. I am composing a quick summary about the main conflict in my conspiracy thriller w/sci-fi elements. Any help, suggestions, or re-writes are greatly appreciated.

Here's my effort so far:

Geraldine rescues a young girl from a turbulent Atlantic surf, and while reuniting the lost child with her parents, she discovers an ancient plot to enslave humanity. Geraldine must keep the child from a secret agency’s clutches while infiltrating its deep underground military base and reaching the tunnels under Montauk Point before Director Nash destroys humanity’s last hope.

Well, you certainly have an intriguing plot!
My chief issue is that there is a whole lot of material that doesn't mean anything to me, and I feel like it offers very little substance. We usually try to keep blurbs short here, but yours is only two sentences. Maybe take another two sentences to give us a little bit more detail?
Then again, it's possible people would prefer a short, vague blurb with keywords like "ancient plot," "secret agency," and "underground military base." Both types of blurbs have their merits.
I realize that's probably not very helpful because those points are contradictory, sorry! Just giving you some random thoughts to consider.

I'm the opposite. I might even just go with the first sentence....

Jane wrote: "I'm the opposite. I might even just go with the first sentence...."

Case and point! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was one universal style of blurb that everybody loved? People are difficult.

Like Jane, I was intrigued by the first sentence. I may have no idea of who Geraldine is but I figure she must be a good swimmer, or have a boat or something. Not knowing who she is doesn't actually bug me at all. I would cut the blurb after the word base. IF you want to keep the last part I'd change the reaching for reach instead.

Over all, I like the blurb, it is intriguing. It should attract people who love conspiracy theory stories and the likes.

I'm not 100 percent sure what a logline is, but I'm guessing that is why this is a very short paragraph instead of a standard 100+ word blurb. Here are my thoughts:

Geraldine rescues a young girl from the turbulent Atlantic surf, but while reuniting the lost child with her parents, discovers an ancient plot to enslave humanity. She must keep the child safe from the clutches of Director Nash, who leads a secret agency intent on carrying out the plan. Geraldine must infiltrate the Director's deep underground military base before he destroys humanity’s last hope.

Thanks so much for the incredible feedback, gang!
I’m not looking for a blurb at this point. I’m trying to compose an elevator pitch. So I can get the main conflict of the story out quick without fumbling for words.

Is this any better:

While determined to reunite a lost girl with her parents, Geraldine, an adult orphan, navigates a governmental agency’s secret facilities and races to utilize the secret of Montauk Point before Director Nash uses it to destroy humanity’s last hope.

Nice Eric! Definitely going to incorporate this wording into my query.

Thanks V.M,
I've saved your helpful comments to guide my blurb.

Thanks G.G.,
Your comments are very encouraging!

Thanks Isaac,
Your comments are very helpful! And I have copied them so I can incorporate your suggestions when I compose the blurb.

Thanks Jane,
I like the first sentence too. I miss it in my new version. Back to the drawing board?

This version is definitely more elevator summary. I would delete the adult orphan part, seems not totally necessary and in the last sentence I think you need a "destroy" or "crush" for humanity's last hope.

Frances wrote: "Thanks Isaac,
Your comments are very helpful! And I have copied them so I can incorporate your suggestions when I compose the blurb."

You're welcome! Sorry for the misunderstanding, I also wasn't entirely sure what you meant by "logline." But now I think I have a better understanding, and I like that second refinement a lot.

A logline is a 25 word (or less) summary of your story's main plot. It helps to keep you focused as you write and when composing a short synopsis. I find it very challenging to compose a logline, but it really keeps me from straying. I tweak my logline throughout the whole writing process from first draft to sending queries. The tweaking alone helps me focus. Try it. I hope it helps you too!