Polls for Christian Writers discussion

To those of you who read this draft last night--I cleaned up the dialect. Hopefully it's less annoying now! :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-...

Hey
I like it, but I'm a little confused: is chapter 2 also from Martha's point of view? What is the plot/ blurb of the story which will give me some context? I like it though 😊

Cove . . . Cove is . . . is this new?? Did he used to possess . . . y'know . . . spoilers . . .
Questions: If the King was whipping servants for minor things, why would he not whip Martha for asking questions? Why would she be allowed near The Important Room (trying to avoid spoilers here) at all, if the royal family wants to keep it quiet? Wouldn't they make sure absolutely no one got in except for one trusted nurse? Servants are sure to blab. And why would Martha barge in and ask the king questions, when knowing of such a matter might bring her death, prison, or banishment to keep it quiet? And is she close enough to the King to be permitted asking questions or even talking to him at all? Usually servants, in the Victorian era and earlier, talked only when spoken to, and addressing a higher-up like that would be considered absolutely out of the question.

OH! WAIT! MARTHA! I know her from your previous plot summaries . . . I can see how lives and plots are entwining here, and that's one thing I really like about a story -- everything's connected. You seem to be doing a great job with that from what I can see!

Thanks, everyone!
Medomfo, the POV changes every chapter.

Banks, no he didn't. :) I've been reworking my plot a bit, I guess. You ask some important questions, which I'll consider in revisions. Thanks for your feedback. :)

Thanks Raevyn
What is the synopsis/ blurb of the story? This will help me a bit x

I haven't written a proper blurb, to be honest. It's set in either Wales or the southern USA (I'm still deciding) a few decades after a nuclear war. :)

Ok
Who ate the main characters and what is the main plot of the story?
I love spoilers so you can message me them if you like. It also makes me even more excited when I read the book because it's always better than you imagine them 😊

I'll message you relatively soon, but not immediately--I'll be in school for another hour.

Ah! I was going to save all of my feedback til I finished, but now this thread exists. :D So, here's what I have so far: (Yes, I know it's not much, but at least you'll have it.)

Formatting--indent paragraphs
Martha awful bold to king for lowly servant girl: "Why didn't you tell me?"
Great incentive for the King's treatment and dismissal of son.
And better fleshed out prologue.

More to come!

Thanks! :)
Indenting paragraphs--I always forget, lol. At least one teacher has complained about that with my academic work in the past year...I'll go back and do so soon.
I agree about Martha being too bold. I'll have to fix that in a revision.

Mm, a few verb tense issues. Tenses need to be consistent.

Don't capitalize "Queen" unless it's used as a proper noun. Ex. Queen Susan vs the queen.

I LOVE the scene in the closet with Martha and the Queen. Just sayin'. :-D

Nice touch with Samuel in the beginning of Chapter Two. I do wonder why they have kept him and how he even knows he's kin? I mean, like Martha pointed out, how's he know who they are if they never visit. How did he find out they were his parents, let alone the king and queen? Also, where'd he learn to cook? Who took the time to teach him?

Again, much better at fleshing out the story than I've seen in your previous drafts.

Raevyn wrote: "Thanks! :)
Indenting paragraphs--I always forget, lol. At least one teacher has complained about that with my academic work in the past year...I'll go back and do so soon.
I agree about Martha bein..."

It really just makes it sooo much easier to read. Easy on the eyes! ;-)

Hmm...is it not important that he dress nice for the nobility? Would his filthy rags not be repulsive to them, especially in the kitchen working with their food!?

I'm beginning to see why they keep him--getting a behind the scenes Cinderella vibe. :-)

YAY! You used "whom" properly! (Not that I thought you couldn't, but so many people don't!!!) Kudos to you!

How does he clothe himself? In regards to his...well, you know (sorry! Almost spoiled!) Does he have specific stuff tailored for him or just...? An interesting detail you might consider adding.

Aww...Sam...that breaks my heart. :'-(

I really appreciate your feedback! I indented the paragraphs, and I addressed a few of your questions.
Just one thing: I reached a good place to switch POV's/chapters last night, with the first chapter at about 2200 words. Is that long enough, or should I continue?

Nevermind, I decided to continue. I think I'm nearing the end of chapter one, though!
And I'm so happy--the word count is above 4,000, which is the farthest I've EVER gotten!

I think the word count is plenty to stop if you wanted to, but then, personally, I don't may much attention to word counts (for chapters) in my original writing. Now, I do for my fanfiction XD That said, either way, I think I would continue the story and then edit out the extra bit later if you don't like it. Does that make sense? Always write more. It's like the opposite of cooking. When you're cooking, you always ere on the side of caution. You can always add more. Well, I believe in writing that you can always cut more. But you can't cut it if it isn't written.

I like the addition. It suits the story. You still have some verb tense issues, though.

Chapter two is in the works! I decided to stop ch.1 after the addition. :)

I had another idea for the climax/end, although that's a while off, and I'd like everyone's feedback.
***MAJOR potential spoiler. Don't read the following unless you want to know.**
(view spoiler)[What if Iris were to end up mind-controlled by the Kingdom, resulting in her being forced to kill one of her sisters and/or torture Cove? She'd eventually come back to herself, but she'd have to live with the guilt... (hide spoiler)]

Mm...debating on whether or not I should spoil...I guess I already knew spoilers for the old draft, so...? I can't resist! Here goes!!

YUUUUUSSS! Love that idea!!! It plays right into your (view spoiler)[mutant (hide spoiler)] hands!

Hah! That's the first time I've figured out how to use the spoiler thingie! Yay!

https://www.canva.com/design/DACWnWKH...

I know it's a little early to make a cover, but I wanted to try. *shrugs* It's pretty basic, and I might edit it later. Thoughts?

I found the first draft (from this year) of my novel yesterday. Turns out, it wasn't just on the lost flash drive--there was also a copy on my laptop.
I have to admit, to all of the users who said it moved too fast: YOU WERE RIGHT. Thank you for pointing it out...
I thought that draft was so great back in November, but it was actually kind of awful. I can't believe how far I've come as a writer!

Raevyn wrote: "https://www.canva.com/design/DACWnWKH...

I know it's a little early to make a co..."

I like the cover a lot! It's simple and makes the title stand out.
Also I really like the font.

Raevyn wrote: "https://www.canva.com/design/DACWnWKH...

I know it's a little early to make a co..."

It's quite a good cover, but I personally wouldn't be likely to be attracted to a book cover with a blank background. It might be better if you added some sort of picture, even just a simple candle or flame or something like that. But I love the font, it's just the right kind for the title :)

Nice cover but maybe you could add a flame or image to emphasise the title.

I do like the cover so far, but I can't wait to see what you put in the background! Isn't it amazing how much we grow in such a short period of time!!

That is for the feedback, everyone. :) I've decided to think about the cover later and focus on the actual writing for now, but I appreciate all the feedback!
Chapter two is still not going well. :/

You can DO it, Raevyn! I believe in you ;-)

I *have* been writing between 100-200 words a day. So maybe there's hope. Lol.

I'm legitimately nervous that my book has nothing new to offer. Dystopian novels? Everyone wrote them in 2013. Traumatized character? I've read several books featuring one. Sisterly bonds? That's been explored before....
Sorry, just panicking here. :/

Don't panic yet! A very wise man once said "There's nothing new under the sun." ;-) Ecclesiastes, Solomon, in case you were wondering. I, personally, don't think I'll ever get tired of dystopian novels, and surely I'm not the only one. It's okay to do something that's been done. Just put your own personal twist in it and it'll be something unique and all it's own.

Coralie wrote: "Don't panic yet! A very wise man once said "There's nothing new under the sun." ;-) Ecclesiastes, Solomon, in case you were wondering. I, personally, don't think I'll ever get tired of dystopian no..."

I agree! It doesn't matter how many times it's been done before, just so long as you add your own unique style to it and write it well it will be great! :)

Yeah, really there's no idea that hasn't been done before, but there seem to be millions of ways to do a story. Even if you might think your story isn't original, it is.

Well, that One Short Story (I don't even like the title anymore) has been deleted from Goodreads. I'm honestly sorry I put it on the site.

What??? But they post novellas and stuff...

True, but this was only in a magazine. I guess I can see the logic.

Grr. That's still disappointing. I'm sorry. :-/

One more question: What age would all of you recommend my novel for? I'm thinking 13+ for thematic elements, but I'm not sure,

Yeah, I think 13+ is a safe bet. You don't write graphically and you do write cleanly, but it is a bit thematic in the philosophy of some of the stuff.

*incoherent squeaking*
Sing A New Song
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

Novel update: Ended chapter two at just over 1500 words. Started chapter three, but I don't have many ideas that aren't completely vague.

Jumping around from the next chronological/linear chapter, to what I actually want to write (more of the middle and end). I don't know if this is exactly conducive to my writing, but....

I think it's a good idea. Sometimes, you just have to write what you do have and then make the connections later.

Completely rethinking the ending--again!

Ha ha, you could do a bonus feature with alternate endings! That would be neat!!

That's an interesting idea. I've certainly considered enough endings to do so. :D

Make a small collection of them, just for fun. :-)

Copied and pasted from another group.


So, I'm thinking that (view spoiler)[Cove might get his arm broken in the scene I'm writing. (hide spoiler)]
Reason why this should happen:
The scene involves (view spoiler)[the hovertank (the futuristic equivalent of a plane) crashing. The pilot causes this intentionally. (hide spoiler)] How could anyone not end up injured?

Reason why this shouldn't happen:
I feel like I always end up making this character suffer way more than the others. I'm guessing readers will want it to be more even/balanced.
Advice? :D