Jesus Freaks for Writers discussion

This is a place where you can post descriptions of the stories you are writing. We'd love to hear what you're working on!!

I'm generally horrible at writing descriptions, but this is one of my better ones. Promise the book is better!

Ryan Moses is the star of the basketball team, trying his best to forget about his past rocky teenage years. Now at the age of sixteen, and life at it’s highest, Ryan still feels empty inside, despite being considered the best player in the Wildcats history. When a tragedy rocks his life and he receives a question to do something that he has tried to forget about, his life turns upside down.

Carrie Moss is a star swimmer for the local swim team, and… the girlfriend of star basketball player Ryan Moses. With her faith and skill, she has turned the once small, not good enough team into a place where swimmers come to just swim a practice. When Ryan plunges into darkness, can she use her faith, something that they don’t share, to bring him upright?

Sounds interesting!!

Here's the description of my first book:

“Stay back!” Joshua ordered. He kept his eyes on the scene below while waving his arm in Ruth's direction. “Get deeper into the woods and stay down low to the ground.”
Joshua hazarded a glance behind him. He could no longer see Ruth and breathed a sigh of relief. In one swift move, he grabbed his rifle and lay flat to the ground. Extending the rifle, he aimed at the shorter man whose gun was pointed at Bradshaw.

Joshua and Ruth Brookings are traveling by stagecoach to finally join their parents in Montana. Attacked by murderous outlaws, the teens barely escape with their lives and must survive in the barren Wyoming and Montana territories and escape the man who's hunting them.

Seven years ago, Jed Stuart ran away from home and joined Tom's gang. Jed is tired of the lawlessness and wants out. The only problem? He is the boss's right-hand man and will never be able to leave. And what's one more stagecoach robbery, anyway?

Can Joshua lean on God's strength to keep himself and his sister alive until they find a town? Will Jed be able to face his anger or will it consume him completely? All three are running--the hunter and hunted. What will happen when they meet?

This is the logline for the trilogy I'm working on. I haven't written ones for each of the individual books.

In a perilous quest that spans two worlds, four siblings must team up with their long-lost ancestors and a rebellious slave to deliver an enslaved people from the cruel strytes who invaded their land.

That sounds fascinating, Morgan! Do you have a planned publication date? :)

Sort of. I'm hoping to get it out before spring of next year, but that largely depends on my getting the last book of the trilogy written so I can make sure everything is consistent and I'm not leaving anything important out. So far I've written two chapters, 2,690 words. I do have two books out already. I just added a PayPal button to do signed copies today.

Across the Stars: After discovering a spaceship that takes them to a planet two galaxies away, five children must use their combined knowledge of battle strategy and American history to free the distant planet from the oppressive tyrant which is its king.

The Experiment: In a future where American liberty has been eradicated, kidnapped siblings must overturn a plot by the President and a torture-loving scientist to control the lives and minds of the American people . . . before it's too late.

Awesome!!

Morgan wrote: "Sort of. I'm hoping to get it out before spring of next year, but that largely depends on my getting the last book of the trilogy written so I can make sure everything is consistent and I'm not lea..."

Oh, wow!Sounds stellar!

That description is fantastic, Adele! And a very cool title. Have you finished it?

It sounds awesome! And I love the title!!!

@Zechariah, Thank you!!! Not even close to finishing, but I know exactly where I want the story to go.

@Lena, Thanks sooooooooo much!!!!!

:D

Gotcha, it's a very thorough description. Any ideas how long it'll be?

I'm not sure. I just like to let my mind run wild while I write so it will probably be pretty long.

I am still in the first chapter of a novel entitled "Star Seeders". An armada of commingled races, all of whom are ascended atomic beings, travel through space harvesting planets. The armada sustains itself through engendered worlds, harvesting resources, intelligent species, and blood for the great GUF engines that power their mighty ships. The leader's death places two brothers in competition for the throne. J35 (pronounced Hais) is the humanoid who oversees the seed craft, and has an affinity toward the newly acquired primate race known simply as the Kee. L26 (pronounced loose)is the adopted reptilian brother whose pride, and hatred of the Kee, foments rebellion among the ascendants. L26 has gone ahead to oversee the terra forming of a new planet in the outer arm of a small spiral galaxy that is poised to intersect a larger spiral galaxy. The combination of the terra former's use of light travel, with the remaining crew's sub-light approach, and millennial sleep, places J35 in a position where he must overcome his passive nature to save both the Kee, and all ascendants.

That sounds really cool!

Ooh, fun! :D
My current story is called Dragons' Bane and is basically a story about how power corrupts even the best of people. There's a legendary energy source called the Bane that grants the user great strength, intelligence, etc...but it comes at a price.

After seeing what the Bane truly was, and the terrible consequences its power brought, the people of Calest decided to bury it deep below an ancient mountain, guarded by a fierce dragon so none could use it. Over time, the Bane faded from memory until it was little more than a tale people told to pass the time.

Now the dragon has fallen, and the truth about the Bane's existence is beginning to spread. A small resistance seeks a way to destroy the Bane forever, but the lure of the Bane is not readily ignored, and power can often too easily corrupt even the purest of hearts.

Ooh, Melody!! That sounds incredible!!!!

Lena wrote: "Ooh, Melody!! That sounds incredible!!!!"

Thank you! :D I've been pretty busy working on it lately so I haven't looked around too much, but if there's a place for posting parts of a story (more than just an excerpt) and anyone here would like to kind of beta-read it, I'd love the feedback. :)

Maybe we'll start a folder for that.....

Thanks for the suggestion

Alright, here's that folder: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

Lena wrote: "Alright, here's that folder: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/..."

Great!! :)

Brianna wrote: "I'm generally horrible at writing descriptions, but this is one of my better ones. Promise the book is better!

Ryan Moses is the star of the basketball team, trying his best to forget about his p..."

Sounds like a great story :) I would read this!

Filled with mystery, romance, and unforgettable characters, Dance to My Lu is the story of a Seattle woman’s relentless pursuit of truth and God’s transforming, healing power.
Livy and her twin DeeDee lost their mother when they were six. Twenty years later, they open a dance school in her memory. Now they have everything–a glamorous career, a famous father, wealth enough to buy whatever they want. But Livy is becoming increasingly convinced there was more to the story of her mother’s death than she’s been told. As she seeks answers to what really happened that day, she also begins to question the New Age philosophy she was raised on. What if there is a personal God who cares about her? If so, how can she know Him?
But before Livy can discover answers, her search is brutally interrupted by a sudden accident. Her life flips upside down as she faces a future she is not prepared for. Yet the unanswered questions continue to haunt her. She must keep on with her quest, even if it means losing the two people most dear to her—her twin, and the man she loves.

Here's the summery for my short story I'm working on now:

Title: If There Was Magic

Summery: After Catherine Clemonte's mother dies in what looks like a self-murder attempt, Catherine is sent to live with her aunt and uncle for the summer.
Catherine is used to being by herself, engrossed in her favorite magical stories. Since both her parents' acting careers took them all over the world, and she hardly ever saw them, and the relationships she had with her parents were pretty much nonexistent. As a result, the death of her mother seems not to have fazed her. The longer she stays on the windswept fields of rural Ohio, however, the more she feels alone.
The growing friendship with a spirited young boy is surprisingly what she needs. As her summer visit progresses, Catherine slowly leaves the confinement of her magical stories to find magic in the real world.

This is the description for my book Terminator:

The world had been normal, they said. Everyone lived with freedom. Then that peaceful world was destroyed. By fighting, conflict that destroys. A country, like our community but bigger, had bombed another. A war started, World War III, they called it. Eventually there was nothing and seemingly no one left. Then slowly a people race, a country that had remained neutral in the war, who had hid out in a cold place called the Artic, came out and found nothing left but ash and ruin. They had decided to form a new government and community, in the place once called Europe, one that would never again fall, but would be perfect. And that was how the Regime was formed. Everything had gone to plan; the people were separated into communities that were enclosed by walls and were each given a focus subject, or a career. It had worked, that was until famine struck. There wasn’t enough food for everyone, and thousands died. So the Regime had come up with a clever but terrible plan to keep the people population to a minimum. They would create an obstacle course filled with any number of deadly things: moving bridges, poisonous lakes, booby traps. But that wasn’t it. After two hours the Terminator, as the obstacle course would be called, was flooded, and anyone who was unfortunate enough to still be in it, died. The communities would go into the Terminator on their week of the year, and in that way all of the communities would enter the obstacle course. Many would die, but what was that to the Regime?

Cool story descriptions guys! *thumbs up*

I'm working on my children's fantasy series of four books called "Light Horse, Dark Horse". It's set in a world called Equus, and the characters are all equines (horses, zebras, donkeys, ponies).

The first two books are already out

Book 1 - The Miraculous Birth: Two young horses have been chosen by their Creator to be the parents of the Light Horse, a Savior prophesied to defeat the Dark Horse by breaking the Curse of Evil, and who will one day rule the equine world as its eternal king.

Book 2 - The Light Horse: Seven years after his birth, Soter (the Light Horse) leaves his family's herd to fulfill his ultimate destiny. But first, he must prove to the Mustangs of the Great Plains that he is their awaited Savior.


Now, I'm working on Book 3 - The Soter Herd

After Soter the Light Horse fulfills the Prophecy, He sends His faithful followers to recruit horses around the world to join His herd and fight against the Dark Horse. However, Soter's enemies will stop at nothing to stomp out His memory forever.

That sounds like a really neat series, Lavay! :)

Thanks Astrid and Lena!

So I could copy the back cover of my first book, which would be boring for you all. Or I could give you the inside scoop, so here it comes! The main focus of my second book coming next Spring, Lord-Willing.

The First book deals little with the Sentinels or with any of the warfare described in the Veriterian Lore & Legends, but the second book will make things clear for the reader. Jonah is a Sentinel, as is his brother Felix. There are Seven Sentinels, who have been called to protect Veriteria from the threats of the Azazelite Council. Each has their own distinct gifts channeled through the stones of Denyil one of the Corson Aingeal. These stones were crafted by Denyil and the legion of Aingeal under his charge for the mortals of Domhan to be protected from the Patrons of the Azazelite Council, and their legions. Jonah is becoming more and more erratic as the Fury of Voland grows more powerful and its influence over him increases. Hawk is concerned, as is Seraphis the Aingeal who watches over Jonah. He tries to council Jonah to resist the Fury as Jonah's Gift grows stronger and he learns more of the powers he has been given. Will Hawk and Seraphis succeed in their efforts to help Jonah take up the Mantle of the Sentinel of Silence, or will he be consumed by Voland and become the greatest threat of destruction Domhan has known?

Your books sound incredible! I was just wondering, is there an actual language that your names are derived from? They all sound really cool!

Well, I researched the numerous names of Satan for the names of the Patrons of the Azazelite Council, that took about a week of searching off and on. The name I made up as a play on Azazel. Okera is not an actual name, neither is Denyil I also made that up. Domhan and Aingeal are Gaelic, for world and angel. Veriteria is a play off the Latin for Truth. Veritas.

Awesome!

Phillip wrote: "So I could copy the back cover of my first book, which would be boring for you all. Or I could give you the inside scoop, so here it comes! The main focus of my second book coming next Spring, Lord..."

I love medieval fantasy! Your book sounds really interesting!

Thanks Lavay!

@Lavay: I love horses.

Shine "@Lavay: I love horses."

Really? So do I!

Yes!

Astrid wrote: "Me three!!! :) And mustangs are my favorite! :)"

Mustangs! :) I would have to say Andalusians are my favorite. They are SO majestic! I also love Arabians!

Friesians, guys. And Gypsies!

Appaloosa and Thoroughbred.

I'm writing a science fiction novel, a fanfiction, and a futuristic fantasy. I'll post my 'proper' descriptions later.

Raevyn wrote: "I'm writing a science fiction novel, a fanfiction, and a futuristic fantasy. I'll post my 'proper' descriptions later."

Cool! :)

I now have 7 ideas for novels.
The first one is kind of weird, but what story isn't strange to some readers? :p
1. Tom, the first genetically modified human, has been in isolation since he was born due to both his uncontrolled power and his weak immune system (a side effect of the experiments performed on him as an infant). Now he’s finally managed to contain the magic—sort of--, and the doctors say he can handle everyday illnesses. But is he really prepared for the world? More importantly, is the world prepared for him?

That sounds awesome!! Definitely my style of weird!! ;)

Thanks. :)

Wow you guys' stories are awesome!!!! Mine aren't nearly as good idk if I'll post them
(Also because I'm barely on the first draft for all of them).
Right now I only have very short sections of each story, but I will show you a small piece of each of them-- but be warned, they're all only first drafts, and I may leave off in the middle of a scene (as I haven't had time to work on them too much lately).

Real quick, a Q. I've been noticing that when i comment sometimes you can't see the whole comment. It might just be me but if any of you have had that problem do you know why?

Anyways here's a paragraph of my most recent book idea, a medieval book that I haven't come up with a title for yet.

Let me know what you think and if you have any criticisms on it let me know! ;)


And Mandilaian slowly drew an arrow out of his quiver... Noiselessly drawing it against the bow, he sighted-- and loosed. THWUNG! Animei swung around seconds before the arrow reached the tree by which he had been quietly tracking.
With a yell, Animei jerked his sword out of its scabbard and charged.
Dropping his bow, Mandilaian raised his sword gracefully into the air and met Animei's with a mighty CLANG.
BASH CRASH BANG CLANG! They whirled around each other, fighting for the advantage and testing for weak spots. Right, left, top, side, thrust, right, left, top, side, thrust; Mandilaian followed the patterns he had been taught as a wee lad.
Animei was certainly an experienced swordsman, but not as seasoned as Mandilaian. His sword whirled through the air-- did Animei have a weak spot there, on his side? He left the pattern for a brief instant, thrusting to his left side. Animei halted for half a heartbeat in surprise but whirled his sword up in a circle just in the nick of time, throwing Mandilaian's sword upwards. Then he thrust quickly, hoping to get under his guard.
But Mandilaian was expecting this trick, and dodged out of the way. Face twisted in concentration, he met Animei's sword and slid his sword down to the handguard of the enemy's. Swords locked, he and Animei met eyes for a brief moment. Was that a flicker of fear in his eyes? Mandilaian nodded slightly to him. Then a quick twist and thrust, and Animei was down, sword tip at his throat.

"Well comrade, I did wish to find thee of a better swordsman... Mayhap we shall meet again, and 'twill be more e'enly matched.
"Tho at present, in mine own interest, i shall not slay thee; for 'tis not mine calling, and 'twould be froward against the seemly and blessed Code of Chivalry.
"So i shall let thee goeth unto thy freedom, and thou shalt heal thine wounds.
Yet-- shall I set thee free, to have thee traitorously slash me in mine back? Nay, it shall not be so! Swear the blood oath unto me, that thou shalt ne'er deal treacherously unto me. That thou shalt only skirmish with me whilst i be armed, and ready against thee.
SWEAR it unto me."

"Or what, wilt thou slay me? Ha! Thou hast admitted thyself that thou shalt not! Wherefore what canst thou doeth unto me?" He laughed scornfully. "I am under no obligation to thee." He spat on Mandilaian's sword.
"Or wilt thou go against thy word? Wilt thou so defile thine own honor as to slay me?" He said mockingly.


Ok so that's where I left off sorry that I don't have Mandilaian's reaction yet ;)
Let me know what you think and thanks! I appreciate it when you give honest criticism! Again thank you! ;)
And if you want to hear pieces to other stories let me know! ;)

Oooh, looks awesome!!! I love sword fights! ;)

To answer your question: there is a character limit on comments, so that could be why some of it doesnt show, but if your comment isn't super long, I don't know why that would happen...