Writer's Paradise discussion

Again I am very new at writing; this is my first attempt at a novel. I wrote most of the prolouge last night, and I was wondering if someone could critique it; give me ideas on how to make it better?
Thanks! The link is:
http://shhhread.blogspot.com

Interesting! I love the idea of the character writing the letter. To whom, I don't know. Why, I don't know. What happened, I don't know.
I would certainly love to read on.

Great! Thanks so much for letting me know.

Very interesting plot idea. I wonder where this story will take you. I'd love to see more. :D

Not sure which one you were referring to, but they were both good. :)

But guessing by the fact that you mentioned a prologue in the post on this site, I'm guessing it's the vampire story. It's got me interested, and I'm not even into fantasy that much (probably because much of it is formula, which yours does not seem to be)

The only thing--the mention of dracula not being based on vlad the impaler was a bit confusing. It sounded like you were implying that the narrator was the base of the story, but then you went on to say she changes into a snake, not a bat. Which makes me think, "wait, then who was the base for dracula?" Perhaps if you do mean to imply what I thought you meant, then maybe you should add a sentence like, "but he changed the facts" after the mention of her becoming a snake.

also, in the first paragraph, you wrote, "I was part of the original war, the one that will kill your kind." Seeing as the setting is the future, and not the present, I would change "will kill" to "killed."

But overall, it's good. You definitely don't seem like a first-time writer.

your prologue was really good...
but i think, something is missing in your prologue, i just can't figure out what exactly.
though, i really admired your work.
wish you luck...

The prologue is interesting. Definitely sounds like something I would read and it gets me interested. The only advice I have for you is that as you write the story I hedge that most of the prologue will get woven into the story. If that happens, get rid of the prologue. I have been doing a lot of research lately in an attempt to better my own novel and I have read soooooo many agents/authors/publishers all say show don't tell. If you can incorporate your prologue into the story I think it would make for a really awesome novel.