Our Shared Shelf discussion

(**SPOILER ALERT**)

If you have read the bestseller, you might remember the character Ayame. Married to a homosexual police officer for the sole reason that she takes care of his crippled brother, Ayame expects little from the marriage and we rarely see her exerting control in the marriage. But, one day she runs into the park in Yokohama where a ‘rare’ sight catches her attention.

Ayame sees men and woman pleasuring each other in the open. A young girl tries to seduce her and though she leaves the place she becomes bi-curios.

Finally, after living with the conflict for several days, she decides to head to the place. At this point I thought that she has finally decided to do as she pleases. ( I see feminism as the freedom to let women make their own choices.)

Unfortunately she sees her husband copulating with another man. She never confronts him about it.

The young seductress then tries to seduce her once again. Ayame would have given in to her, but the girl tried to extract money out of Ayame’s string bag.


This is where she realises that the whole ‘arrangement’ was morally corrupt. The changing thought process subsides to that of a submissive wife’s mind she previously had.

Though she has been betrayed, she decides to stick to her morals. She leaves the place(after lashing out at the girl)
and the last scene we read about her- she just strays away from her husband, and cares for Daisuke.

And thus, she chooses being the dutiful wife over one who would confront her husband about the lies he has been living and forcing her to believe.

Morals over Feminism? I am confused here.

On one hand, it was wise of her to continue caring for Daisuke. But had she been in her husband’s place, she would probably have been kicked out much like Hana’s mother.

I just want to say that when women pursue lives on their own, sometimes patriarchs call them out for not following certain rules and being ‘morally corrupt’.

But aren’t these ‘morals’ the ones patriarchy set for women?

This is confusing. I wanted to add something else but I forgot.

it may be about her own personal moral standards. regardless of what the other does, and maybe influenced by the patriarchy, she would not let her self go.
but yes agree too, that the morals are set up by patriarchy.

maybe also her morals were more about her loyalty towards Daisuke.

and last but not least, she is caught in these moral standards because being a woman she is judged differently and a woman being alone regardless for what reason she left the marriage is still disadvantaged in any case.

so better stay?

Morality is one's personal choice, everyone's moral standards are different. Though patriarchy does shapes and decides moral values for women, in Ayame's case it was her own decision to not confront her husband, because it was normalised in their society. Throughout the book we see powerful men having numerous mistresses outside marriage, and though society judges these women harshly no one questions the men. So yes patriarchy weights down feminism cuz it is rooted so deep in society that sometimes even misogyny seems obvious and justified.