Bookworm Binches discussion

I really loved this book! The author beautifully wrote two complex characters that I was in love with at one moment and hated the next. I found parts of myself in Marianna and Connell. I feel like most people in their 20s can relate to them in some way. Connell’s anxiety about the way he perceives himself versus how the world perceived him is definitely a thought I often have about myself. Marianna breaks my heart on so many levels she is mysterious and misunderstood to the outside world yet she would give anything LITERALLY anything to be loved.

In the beginning of the book I felt like Marianna was so strong and sure of herself. She was kinda a badass who wasn’t bothered with the way she was perceived. However, I felt towards the end of the book that she was deteriorating. All the sudden she is dating a fucking abusive loser and wants to be dominated in bed? I mean I get it but it didn’t feel right for her character and it made me really sad for her.

I loved both Connell and Marianna very much but JFC why can’t they communicate!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially all the bullshit about breaking up because he was going home for the summer! C’mon Connell you did Marianna so dirty and freaked out even though you knew she would let you stay in her apartment. I feel like Connell was constantly throwing Marianna to the wolves and his mom is right sometimes Marianna deserved better than him but also they are so perfect for each other. They are walking a fine line of amazing love vs really toxic behavior. This amazing love story has been distorted into a toxic relationship built about co dependency and it makes me sad.

The author really captures what it feels like to be a 20 something and how small decisions shape your life and how young relationships shape your feelings on how to love. So many things happened with Connell and Marianna because of one small actions that ended up affecting one another.

The ending also made me want to punch a wall because the entire time I was reading I was rooting for them to give their shit figured out and be together. However, after I thought about it that was the perfect ending. Them walking off into the sunset together would have been so predictable for a love story and I’m glad that’s not what this book is about.



This is my initial thought process for this book I’m sorry if I jumped all over the place I just had a lot of feelings!! What did you ladies think? I would love to see other opinions!

ok katie i agree with everything you said. I didn’t get around to it in my original post but Connell does really suck sometimes like I said he did her SO dirty!!! It freaked me out that one time he was like “i could slap her right now and she would let it happen” like that is some psycho shit. But now that I am thinking about it I am surprised he wasn’t into actually slapping her during sex. I wonder if the reality of hurting her versus just thinking about it randomly made him freak out in that moment?

This book... killed me when I read it. I also agreed with what Katie said about Marianne's trauma and how that impacted her sex life was really realistic, and you can tell the author either had personal experiences with this or knew someone who did, to be honest. I liked Marianne and Connell individually too, and I did like them together, but I agree the relationships was definitely really toxic and unhealthy, even in the end. Marianne couldn't communicate she wanted him to stay, even though she knew it was necessary for him to go. But I think their bond was so intense that they'd find their way back to each other eventually, honestly. Both your analyses were spot on. I think it was honestly less of a love story and more a story ABOUT love, and how love can be really messy and toxic at times, even when you want it to work so badly. I think they probably do get back together at some point, but might not ever be really happy. But, I don't think they'd be truly happy without each other, either. Sometimes that's life, I think. Love is confusing.

Hello hello
So thoughts on Normal People....
I'll admit, it took me a minute to get into the book. I didn't enjoy the writing style and Connell came off as a typical high school douchebag. I changed my mind once I got a few more chapters in though. Once I got into the book, I really got into it. I finished it within a couple of sittings and had to take some time to gather my thoughts. I liked both Connell and Marianne, but at the same time they drove me nuts. There wasn't a single character that at one point didn't get on my nerves. Even Connell's mom, who was probably my favorite character, let her son get away with treating Marianne like crap for so long.

Like sisters Baylee and Katie, I found Marianne to be strong at the beginning and by the end of the book she had taken a step back. After thinking about it for a while, I think Marianne was never as strong as she seemed. She knew how to fake it through life. She was playing different roles, meek girl in high school, cool girl in college, but then eventually I think she was able to find herself with Connell. The best scene was her leaving the Swedish creep and making him delete the photos of her. Connell got a lot better by the end, and I was actually rooting for him to get the girl, even though at the beginning I thought he wasn't good enough for her. His period of depression after his high school friend died was the biggest turning point for me. That was where he finally seemed to leave who he was in high school behind. I think he was so shocked by how his friend turned out, and how easily he could have ended up like him. I think we all have people like that in our lives. People we left behind and haven't thought about in years, but they still symbolize who we were in that point in our lives.

Also like sister Katie, I am a fan of happy endings. I didn't see this ending as depressing or sad, I actually saw it as hopeful. Like for once in their relationship, maybe they would actually be able to communicate with one another. They wouldn't have another incident, like when Connell had to go home for the summer, they might actually be able to convey what it is they want from the relationship. I really like what sister Lauren said about the book not being a love story, but maybe being a story about love and how messy it can be. Maybe one day, after everything, they will find each other again and be able to make it work.

I gave the book four stars. Five is usually reserved for books that I consider favorites, and although I came to like this book and I think Rooney did a phenomenal job with these characters, it's not a book I will probably be rereading. I will say that I liked the book enough to give the author another chance. Have you all read Conversations with Friends? Is that a book that y'all would recommend during self-isolation? Let me know!! I'll probably be watching the hulu series as well.

Did any of this make sense?
Yay book club!

PS- they changed the sardine can cover?? That's the copy I have, but I got mine at a used book sale.