it's personal discussion

Hey! I'm going to be sharing some personal problems/etc. I'm currently a freshman in college. Feel free to comment.

I found out that I can only focus my energy on one person at a time, so I spend all my energy on one person and then neglect everyone and almost everything else. So I've caused my roommate to get really agitated with me and it makes me feel uncool being at home. Even though quarantine is happening, my roommate and I are still essential workers and don't have to stay home all the time, but even being home for a bit causes me severe anxiety at first. Since I haven't been focusing on my roommate (a friend, not a stranger), I forgot how I'm supposed to talk and act around him. I feel so disconnected and I feel like I'm always ruining whatever he has planned with my moods/plans so we never really get to hang out anymore.

and honestly I don't know how to start hanging out again. I don't know how to un-shut-down to him.

Anyway -- here I am, talking with my bf and planning tomorrow out.