The Writers discussion

There was a world of magic. Cities full of people with powers. Everyone was happy. The demons and monsters were banished and they lived in peace. But in the city there was a child who didn’t believe this to be true.
“The monsters aren’t gone.” The young Amabel Gray claimed.
“Ama, you always say that, in the past hundred years no ones seen a monster.” Kane Everly, her best friend, sighed.
Amabel swung her sword, striking down her nonexistent opponent.
“Very good, Gray,” her teacher, Ailsa Acian, said.
“Kane, you should train harder, one day we’ll have to fight!” Amabel advised.
“Whatever,” Kane sighed and swung his sword poorly. Amabel laughed.
“Here, like this,” Ama showed him how to swing his sword. He tried, but failed once more.
After practicing for a little while longer Salin yelled, “Class over, great job some of you,” she eyed Amabel who beamed, “But some of you could use more work.” She looked directly at Kane.

Wow, I love this story! We are immediately drawn in and I love how you introduce the setting somewhat through summary, and somewhat through dialogue. I think it would be interesting if the little boy sees the monsters and tries to tell others about them but no one believes him. Then maybe they all attack and since no one believed him, they’re harder to stop.

That’s just my two cents :) great story

“Come on Kane,” Amabel grabbed his hand and pulled him, “Let’s go inside.”

(That’s all for chapter one, I know it’s short)

((it's longer than my first chapter))