All The Right Books discussion

To be honest, I've been feeling rather depressed lately - tonight even more so than usual. A lot of stuff has changed in the past year: stuff that I knew was coming, and stuff that hit me out of nowhere. It's been pretty rough. Today has me feeling in the pits though. In biology this morning, I got stuck as the only kid without a partner and thus had to dissect a fish by myself. At lunch the yearbook lady took a picture of my sister and I, but I probably had food in my braces and my eye makeup looked odd. In literature I had a project due - a report - that I didn't realize involved an oral presentation. So I had to get up and improvise an oral report in front of my whole class. Public speaking + improvisation = my two biggest fears. Then I got home and realized I forgot to turn in a paper, which I now will likely get a zero on. At karate I was put in charge of a group of intermediate ranked kids, which I wouldn't usually mind. Except for the fact that not one of them could complete even their most basic form once through without a few mistakes. So I spent the whole hour reviewing their basic form, boring them and frustrating me. After that I helped lead a make-up rank test for some students who missed the test date last month. My stomach has been doing weird stuff lately and started hurting like crazy during the test, to the point that staying in my chair and not making faces required significant effort. At first I was really freaked out, because there were only two types of stomach aches that it could be: it could be the annoying painful one that stops hurting when I lay down and goes away after fifteen minutes of laying down, or it could be the excruciating, paralyzing kind I got last week that would have meant a trip to the hospital. Fortunately, it was the former. Unfortunately, laying down in the crowded gym was not an option, so my stomach continued to twist and knot. After the test, some friends who recently went away to college showed up at demo practice to surprise us. One of them was of my closest friends before he left. Now he hardly talks to me, even when he's home. And seeing the two of them made me just miss the others more, and miss everything that has changed about the team in the past year. I couldn't find my weapon at the house, so I was entirely useless during practice and instead spent 2 whole hours in the corner talking with my best friend about nice, fun, happy stuff that all the same left me sad. By the end of practice, I was just in a bad mood. I was acutely aware of my ex-best-friend who fell in love with me (and I rejected because...I just couldn't) sitting to my right and one of my closest friends (whom I fear has a crush on me and thinks I still have a crush on him, even though I don't) to my left and my sister and her boyfriend across the circle. Then I found out that a friend and teammate of mine, one of the happiest and cheeriest people I know, has been depressed for a few months and has been putting on a good face for everyone. And another teammate shared how his neighbor tried to OD that evening and was in the hospital. My friend was wondering if talking to him even for a few minutes could have made a difference. This world is so stupid. Everyone has their problems, but most everyone refuses to admit it. If you admit, then you're weak or just have "issues". Yeah, I do have issues. EVERYONE has issues. Yet everyone is expected to put on a brave face and push through it and like they have their junk together, even if they're bursting at the seams and it's just...it's all so stupid.

Amazingly, that rant actually made me feel better. If no one feels like reading it by the way, I won't blame you ;)

Lol I just re-read that... umm yeah apparently when I'm tired I am VERY honest...

Very confusing.To be honest.

To be honest, spring break is a blessing.

TBH why does life suck so much?

TBH I hate tests and science and school and waking up and life in general

TBH, I totally know what you mean Clarice.

TBH at least I'm not alone...

TBH books are my escape, which is why I prefer fantasy.

TBH sometimes I feel like people just can't stand me...

TBH I use music too...

Sydney wrote: "TBH books are my escape, which is why I prefer fantasy."

TBH I am overjoyed when I notice people who get this.

TBH I'm always tired except when it's time to sleep. O.o

Sydney wrote: "TBH I'm always tired except when it's time to sleep. O.o"

That's me :D. I also read books because they are a kind of escape, something which makes me comfortable when I'm stressed out or think too much. I love fantasy worlds like Harry Potter or similar because the good people always win. It is also a good distraction, I think.

Yes!! That's why I highly prefer happy endings. Last spring I read a book called Nest that was really sad and depressing and had an open ending that DEFINITELY did not resolve the story or end it on a happy note. I spent the whole day crying while reading it, then had to start a new book immediately after to cheer me up and chill me out :P

Sydney wrote: "Yes!! That's why I highly prefer happy endings. Last spring I read a book called Nest that was really sad and depressing and had an open ending that DEFINITELY did not resolve the story or end it o..."

That could also be me...I need a good cheering book after a dark, pessimistic one. Especially when it wasn't stated anywhere, that it would be dark and pessimistic...I don't like open endings very much. I'm also absolutely the Happy End type. I mean, why we read when the end is as depressing as the world sometimes can be...It would make no sense for me. Books are to gather hope and encouragement, how you can get forward instead of being miserable. Books should show how much life is worth to struggle and have some dark in it because it also has light and very positive attributes. And at least books should be a reminder about what is so loving and beautiful in our world because we sometimes forget the small perfect moments in the rush and though we are not perfect, we are perfect indeed for living in this world. We don't need to know everything, but life still make sense. And when a book lacks this, I feels so bad inside me because I think that's not true and not the whole story when it is so pessimistic and negativ only...I hope my text is not too confusing to understand. I think my fangirl heart of good books wrote this ;).