2025 & 2026 Reading Challenge discussion

This thread is to discuss Death Is Hard Work by Khaled Khalifa.

Pages: 192 pages

Length: 1 month (June)

Participants: Valerie, Lorraine

Everyone reads at their own pace during a Buddy Read. Because participants can be at different parts of the book at different times, it is extremely important to mark spoilers so that the book is not ruined for someone who is not as far along as others!!!

Mark spoilers by placing {spoiler} before the text and {/spoiler} after the text but use the < and > instead of the { and }.

Hello Valerie. I already got my copy of this book. So you tell me when you want to start and I will follow. I am really curious about it.

How about the middle of next week (beginning of June) as I have a couple of books I should have finished by then.

Just a bit of background, my husband and I lived and worked (as teachers in an international school) in Aleppo 1997-1999 (before the civil war) and we spent many weekends in the villages around as they are scattered with Roman and Byzantine ruins and mosaics in among the houses (Syria has an estimated 22,000 archaeological sites so most are not curated). Aleppo at the time was a beautiful and surprisingly laidback, tolerant and liberal city where Lebanese wine and Syrian beer were plentiful along with great food.
I’ve sort of been avoiding books about the conflict as the situation breaks my heart but I decided to give this one a try.

Middle of next week is fine. I am back on the 4th but I usually need 2 or 3 days to get over the jet lag.
Wow that is quite a background you have. I find people that does like your husband and yourself, very courageous. You need to have courage and I would say confidence to go to countries that are different from one another and adapt all the time. I do not have this in me. Tried to live outside Montreal and I hated it with passion!
I am curious to know where you worked other then Aleppo. And where you were born. We can do that using messages if you prefer.
I am curious about that because I find your taste in book very « international » ( I mean you are suggesting books where the stories happens all around the world. Not only from the place you now live). I like that because reading with you makes me read books I might not have read by myself. Like this one 😁

I left you a message.

Hi Lorraine, I’m going to start reading this weekend.

No problem. I will probably start on Monday or Tuesday.

No problem, having read a bit, it’s definitely not a book I’m going to be racing through. Just a little at a time I think. Very well written in a pragmatic style that is extremely Syrian, but it is going to be a tough read.
It’s in 3 parts so I’ll comment more when I finish part 1.

Hi! My copy arrived today yay! My goal is to get started on it tomorrow. Looking forward to reading this with you.

Very welcome Beth.

Chapter 1. I’m impressed so far. It’s a hard read but I like the way he weaves the historical backstory of the family into the narrative of the journey.
It’s both (view spoiler)[ amazing and frightening how humans can adapt to even the most violent situation- I found this phrase very apt: ‘when tragedy becomes mundane’. I suppose that’s the only coping strategy there is if you are going to carry on. (hide spoiler)]
Bolbol (view spoiler)[ I started off thinking he was as weak and timid as he judges himself but he is revealing himself to be much braver and resourceful than he gives himself credit for. The part about Lamia was quite moving. He’s also the only sibling who won’t give up on the mission. (hide spoiler)]
The siblings (view spoiler)[ not likeable at all but maybe they’ll surprise us and develop into better people (hide spoiler)]

I also finish Chapter 1. (view spoiler)[This will not be an easy read. I found it hard to understand the way people from the same country acts towards each other because they are pro or against the government or because they do not have the same faith. Maybe because I always lived in a country that did not know war on its territory. But I do agree that people need to develop coping strategy when confronted by horror.
As you say, Boulboul (Bolbol name in the French edition) is quite surprising. It will be interesting to see how he will cope with the problems we see coming ahead. I am also curious to better understand why this family is broken and what role the father had to play in this. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 2. Well certainly some real insights into the family came out as they battle their way from Damascus to Aleppo (I can verify that this journey would have taken a couple of hours before the war).
Abdel Latif (view spoiler)[ a complex man full of romantic delusions about revolution, love and himself. He failed his sister and children terribly but sort of redeems himself in his old age. (hide spoiler)]
Bolbol (view spoiler)[ repeats the pattern of his father in his undeclared love for Lamia. One of the strange things about a country where most marriages are pragmatic arrangements between families is how the popular culture is obsessed with romantic love, in songs and poetry especially (hide spoiler)]
Hussein (view spoiler)[ another deluded dreamer but in a different way. Lots of rage and resentment (hide spoiler)]
The women (view spoiler)[ Nevine and Lamia are really strong characters who respond with humanity and courage. Definitely the most admirable characters they bring out the best in father and son. Still waiting to learn more about Fatima (hide spoiler)]
Lots of possibilities for the final part.

I've finished the book. I will not comment on Chapter 3 for now.
Chapter 2: It is incredible that the three siblings go through this journey when you understand that the relationship with the father (view spoiler)[ is not a fulfilling relationship and worst then that, they do not seem to have any relationship with him except being child and father. They could be killed! I am impressed by the power of the tradition over them. And the importance they put in their elder. Especially in a country at war.
I was also wondering about the importance of love in this society while most marriages are arranged between families. Valerie, your comment about that is quite interesting. Can you imagine the kind of courage you need to have to do what Leila did?
I agree that the women are in fact the strong characters in that story. When thinking about the absence of education (in the book they say the girls leave school after elementary), the arrange marriages (sometimes with a man quite older than them), all the rights some societies are removing from them in certain country of the world, it is quite surprising to see that there are Nevine and Lamia arising. I am really impressed by them. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 3. Not sure how I feel about the last part. (view spoiler)[ It was a lot darker and nihilistic than I was expecting. I suppose I was expecting some glimmer of hope or family reconciliation. Maybe Bolbol disappearing off into Turkey in search of a new life. I notice in the notes that the author still lives in Damascus so I guess this is his reality in the end. (hide spoiler)]
I thought overall that the writer did a good job of balancing a depiction of the nightmare that is the civil war whilst not losing the individual humans involved. With the sheer scale of the dead, disappeared and exiled, it’s sometimes easy to forget that each one is or was a person with their own hopes, dreams, delusions, strengths and flaws. Not an easy book to read, but definitely memorable.

Chapter 3: (view spoiler)[ I was also expecting a kind of happy ending. Maybe not a reconciliation but a change in Boulboul. He showed some courage in this mission and I thought it would change him. So I was disappointed that he got back to his old self. At the same time, after thinkling a bit more about the ending, I feel the author could not give us an happy ending as this war did continue for a long time (hide spoiler)]. In the end I think this is a very good book.Like you said, not an easy book to read but definitely good.

I haven’t finished yet; I’m about halfway through. Hoping to finish this weekend. June was a busy month, plus I’m trying not to rush through this so I can best understand it.

No problem Beth. The thread will stay open for most of this month. Interested to hear what you think.

I finally finished the book. I can’t say I liked it… it was a tough read due to subject matter, and I kept avoiding finishing it. However, I can appreciate the beautiful writing style. I learned a lot about life in Syria in the midst of war, and I was deeply moved by the story. I didn’t enjoy reading it, but I am glad to have read it.