Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

You have until October 15 to post a poem, and from October 16-22 we’ll vote for which one we thought was best!

Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don’t use a poem previously used in this group. Only one submission per person is allowed.

Your poem can be any length.

This week’s topic is: Nightfall.

The rules are pretty loose. You could write a poem about anything that has to do with the subject/photo but it must relate to the topic somehow.

Most of all have fun!

Thank you to Anne for suggesting the topic!

POET: Garrison Kelly
TITLE: The Happy Park
GENRE: Urban Fantasy Worldbuilding
RATING: PG for violent references



ACT I
Welcome to The Happy Park
Frisbees thrown, puppies bark
Novels read underneath the trees
Relaxing in the warmest breeze
Children play on slides and swings
Monkey bars and trampolines
Even when the sun has set
The dark day isn’t over yet

ACT II
Wonder why the grass is colorful?
Elves are buried in shallow holes
Why’s there dragon fruit on trees?
A faerie army fell to their knees
Why are the swing sets so sturdy?
Dwarven bones thick and dirty
No Happy Park without sacrifice
Your favorite creatures cold as ice

ACT III
You don’t have to ask questions
As rainbow bubbles grab attentions
Live, laugh, play every day
Nothing wrong with our brutal ways
Your parents pay their tax dollars
So colorful critters will die and holler
Don’t mind the rumbling in your guts
Work a little harder if you’ve got the nuts

CONCLUSION
If you don’t appreciate genocide
We can always take a bulldozer for a ride
Be grateful for the shallow beauty
Picketing is for the fruity
We got the magic wands and staffs
Sorcerers and their belly laughs
Eight foot tall barbarians
Back up your youthful arrogance
Have a nice day! Come back tomorrow
Take the edge off your so-called sorrows
Play in the park and be grateful
Who cares if its history is bleak and hateful?

Retribution

When nightfall brought a setting moon,
the sound of frogs among the reeds,
she watched the cove and knew that soon
she’d kill him for the day’s misdeeds.

The pilings of the rotting pier
seemed etchings in the pallid light,
the late-September atmosphere
now charged, as if with second sight.

She came in from the patio
and gazed out through the wall of glass.
The moon-flecked water seemed to know,
as did the tufts of shoreline grass.

Then headlights swept the nearby trees
and tires crunched in the gravel drive.
A car door closed. With vague unease
she cocked her father’s .45.

Dusk-to-Dawn
By Brett A. Starr on October 3, 2023

Dusk
Sky, colors
Fading, dimming, waning
Darkness, stars, planets, moon
Rising, lighting, waxing
Sky, colors
Dawn

Note: This poetic form is a diamante and is good for contrasting thoughts. If it weren’t for the location of direction, in a still moment, it would be hard to tell dusk from dawn. Mirror-like.

Garrison, you always make verbal fireworks look easy. My favorite lines in “The Happy Park” are “Why’s there dragon fruit on trees? / A faerie army fell to their knees” and “Have a nice day! Come back tomorrow . . .”

Interesting, Brett! I had never heard of a diamond poem until I read your post yesterday, after which I looked the form up. Naturally, I tried my hand at it. As I anticipated, I found the form more difficult than it at first appears. I think you’ve done a marvelous job. Bravo!

I agree with M, nicely done indeed!
I never heard of "diamond poems" either; Interesting concept. I know the "Palindromic poems" style, like those of Brian Bilston, but the "Diamond" style is new for me.

Thank you both. I'll post some of my other diamantes in Brett's Writing section. Great job, Garrison, with your verbal fireworks as M described them. And M, I enjoyed your meter and rhyme as well, it paints a detailed picture of a lead up to someone's doom.

Thank you so much for the feedback, guys! It always feels good to be appreciated, especially on days when my mental health isn't the best. Thank you so much! :)

M, it's often been said that it's how you leave the audience that makes a big difference in their reading experiences. That last line in your poem got me good. Someone's getting murdered tonight and I eat that up whenever I'm reading. Great job!

Brett, you took the diamond poetry format and made it look easy. It's not easy, but you definitely make it look that way. The best ones always do. Your willingness to experiment with new genres is something we can all look forward to. Great job to you as well!

The sun rose early, to start the day,
and chase the dark of night away.
its rays stretched out to touch the trees.
the rocks, the land. and briny seas

No time to rest from daily task.
Was the light of day so much to ask
Oh, the night wouldst have its druthers.
The moon and stars, despites they’d utter

But day makes its stand, from dawn to dusk
To warmth the earth, and retain its trust
For who could imagine an empty day
With No sun to cast its wonderous rays

But, at last day wouldst come to end
And nightfall’s time wouldst come again
And cast a shroud over the sun
While eves of nightfall hath begun

Stars shine forth and fill the sky
Whilst the moon reveals its eye
watching over the wards of night
within the shadows on their plight

Is it nightfall that bend to day and
allows the sun to have its way
or does the sun control the night
and which will win the endless fight

while most enjoy life in the sun
some more the follies when nightfall comes
but as long as humans roam the earth
day and night will provide them mirth

Very nice, S! I enjoyed the notion that the night has its druthers but that the day has a duty to perform, which it does diligently.

Thank you, Garrison! I think of these as quick sketches. They’re among my favorite things to write.

Very well done, S! Great rhythm and rhyme. I like the part about the debate over which is in control...

Is it nightfall that bend to day and
allows the sun to have its way
or does the sun control the night
and which will win the endless fight.

Very deep. Celestially deep...

S wrote: "The sun rose early, to start the day,
and chase the dark of night away.
its rays stretched out to touch the trees.
the rocks, the land. and briny seas

No time to rest from daily task.
Was the ligh..."

I agree with Bert. I like the rhythm a lot. Well done.

I am honored by your comments and find it encouraging. Thank you very much

M wrote: "Retribution

When nightfall brought a setting moon,
the sound of frogs among the reeds,
she watched the cove and knew that soon
she’d kill him for the day’s misdeeds.

The pilings of the rotting pi..."

This poem, for me, leaves you wondering about what happened that was so tumultuous that it brought the individual to kill. Who, why, leaves you with so many unanswered questions and much depth in so few words. Nicely composed.