ᴋɪɴɢᴅᴏᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴀꜱʜᴇꜱ: ꜱᴇᴍɪ-ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇᴅ ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏ discussion
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Gabriella helped Cassian into his bed, ignoring all his comments about her leaving him. What did he want her to do? Leave him here bleeding to fend for himself? What was she, a jerk? She took the bandages and set them aside, "We need to call for the medic," she decided, frowning at his shoulder. Her frown only deepened when he made his comment. "Cassian, please. Let me take care of you. I'm not going anywhere," she promised, pressing a cold rag to his forehead.
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He sighed and forced his body to relax. "Most of the medics are all helping people recover from the riots. We don't need to add on to their stress." Despite his urge to dismiss her, Cassian eventually allowed her to help without too much arguing. "The knife isn't too deep, so it shouldn't be too bad if we just pulled it out and went from there." He hoped it wasn't too deep. It didn't feel like it was any more than an inch or two in, but he also wasn't sure if that was too deep in medical standards.
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A wave of fear washed over her. She was his only hope. "Okay. Should I try to uhm.. take the knife out then?" Gabi asked. He had to have more medical knowledge then her. Right? That had to be something they taught in knight training. Right?!
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A corner of his lips threatened to go up. "Gabriella, you might want to sit down before I'm the one helping you. Listen, I'm going to take out the knife. All I need you to do is take one of the clothes, soak it in disinfectant, and wrap it tight around my arm like you did with your scarf. Okay?" He figured he should warn her before she did it so she wouldn't stop, so he added, "It will sting a good amount, but you just have to ignore that, okay? I'll be fine."
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She relaxed slightly as he took control. "Okay." She looked around and grabbed a shirt on the chair in the corner. She grabbed the disinfectant and soaked the shirt in. Before telling Cassian she was ready, she reached down and took the hand of his injured arm. "Okay," she said again, "Whenever you're ready."
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He steeled himself, wanting to make sure he wouldn't jerk away from her or accidentally hurt her. He knew the cloth would be like dumping salt right on his stab wound, but the pain would last only a few minutes. Once again, this is a hope, not a certain fact. "I'm ready," he told her, and ripped the knife out quickly.
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Gabi winced as he pulled out the knife, but she did what he told her to do. She quickly put the wet shirt on his wound, tying it around his shoulder the way she had with her scarf, all the while she never let go of his hand.
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((remember four sentance rule lol))
A striking pain shot through him, and he grit his teeth together hard so he wouldn't flinch. Goddamn, for a moment it almost hurt more than the actual wound. Cassian's knuckles were white as they gripped the sheets, thankful that he had discarded the knife before she patched him up, or else he might have hurt her by accident. After a few deep breaths and after his jaw hurt from gritting his teeth together, the stinging finally subsided. "Thank you," he rasped, blinking away the stars in his eyes.
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((but its long sentences lmfao
i aim for at least three lines, mb, i didn't count))
She squeezed his hand tightly until he finally let out a sigh. "Okay?" Gabi asked, brushing a tear away from his cheek. "Of course, Cass," she replied softly. She was unusually tense, like she'd been the one that was about to get hurt. Maybe Cassian hurting was hurting her.
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((lol ur all good))
He hadn't even realized he had been crying. Usually, he would've been embarrassed to cry at all, and in front of a girl he had known for a little over two weeks? He would have been mortified. But Gabriella didn't look uncomfortable or judgey in the slightest. She's holding on to your hand and touching your face. Do something, idiot. . And for once, he listened to himself. Cass nodded at her and pulled his hand to his side. "And you're sure you're not hurt anywhere?" He confirmed, trying to move the attention off him. He knew Gabriella would be dangerous for him, and he knew that he was bad for her, but he had forgotten for a little- for a few blissful moments- he couldn't let that happen again.
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Gabriella tucked her hand between her knees, a little embarrassed. Why had she grabbed his hand? That was totally rude of her. "I'm okay, Cassian. A little shaken up, sure, but I'm not hurt," she promised him, smiling softly.
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A week later, Gabriella was pissed. Which was saying a lot for such a sweet person that we all know Gabi to be. She couldn't believe Cassian had just dumped her with a stranger. The pair hadn't spoken since the night he randomly showed up to her room. How rude!
The moment Gabi's shift was over, she walked over to Cassian's room. She knew he would be inside because she'd simply asked Noah-who turned out to be a sweetheart- whenCassCassian would be off and today was that day. She knocked on his door, mentally preparing herself for the speech she'd been writing in her head all day.
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Cassian called, "It's open," from his desk, not bothering to get it. This past week, he hadn't seen Gabriella once, which he was grateful for, even if it made him just the tiniest bit utterly devastated. He had heard that distance brings fondness, and that seemed to be the case, because the further he seemed to distance himself, the more he seemed to want to be closer with her.
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Well it looks like Cassian's dream was about to come true. Gabriella opened the door, taking a step inside. "Hello, Cassian," she said, her voice at a monotone. "Long time, no see."
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Cassian almost jumped back, but he was frozen in place, frozen in time. "Gabriella," he said, a slight quiver in his voice. "Hi. Did- did you want to come in?" She had a look on her face more intense than he'd ever seen her. She looked angry, furious, and it was directed at him. That was good. It was his plan to make her hate him, but goddamn, it hurt like a bitch to see someone so full of life be so utterly dull. And it was his fault, which made it worse.
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She swallowed hard, her frown breaking only for a moment. Good god, it was hard to hate someone. Especially when this someone was Cassian. Maybe she didn't hate him.- No. Don't think like that, Gabi. You hate him. He hurt you. Again. How could she be so stupid. "Okay," she replied, walking inside and shutting the door.
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"You're angry," he said, and it wasn't a question. He had hurt her, so much so that she marched to his room with a look that made him want to beg for forgiveness, just so she would smile at him again. "I understand. You should be. I just don't understand why you came here."
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"Of course I'm angry!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the hair. "I could understand if I freaked you out and that's why you left that night, but all the understanding went right out when I found out you've been lying to me this whole time. Why couldn't you have just told me you couldn't switch positions? Why lie? What was the point? Or do you get off on seeing me upset? Is that what this is?" She scoffed, angrily wiping a tear, "I came here," she started again, "To tell you that I don't need your goddamn pity. I don't need you."
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"I didn't lie, Gabriella," he protested. "I planned on switching up until that night. Which yes, was shitty. And I did lie that night, but before that I never wanted to not switch. I enjoy your company, as much as I hate to admit it. You just don't get it, and I don't fucking want you to! God, see this is what I've been trying to get you to realize. I'm a bad person, and you're a good person. You can't understand the feeling of being scared to know someone, because you're too kind and loving for your own good! You think I wanted to lie to you? You think I wanted to hurt you? Sweetheart, I'd rather do anything but that. But it's better than letting this continue."
He took a breath, heart cracking with every tear drop that dripped from her cheek. "It's not pity. I don't pity you at all- you're stronger and braver than I am, then I'll ever be. You're anything but pitiful. Noah's better for you. You two are similar. And he's a better man than me. I'll apologize for hurting you, because god, I never want to hurt you, but I don't regret anything."
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Her jaw clenched. There he was, telling her more lies. "Whatever, Cassian. I can't anymore. I just-" She sighed shakily. He may be lying when he said he doesn't want to hurt her, but she means it when she says, "I don't want Noah, Cassian! I wanted you." She turned and put her hand on the door, attempting to flee before he could say another word.
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Impulsive, stupid, idiotic, amazing, breath-takingly moronic. These are all words you can use to describe Cassian when he grabbed her hand. The only thing running through his mind was don't go. Not yet. Every bit of resolve to stay away had vanished when she said those three tiny words, and while she might have said them in past tense, he was living right now, in the present, and he knew what he wanted. Knew it when he held on to her hand tight, knew it when he pulled her towards him, and you better believe he knew it when he brought his lips to hers in a desperate attempt to get her to understand everything he couldn't say.
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((bella is actually going to flip))
Gabriella immediately melted into him, putting her hand on his chest. She told herself that it was to push him away, but really she brought him closer. She kissed him back, her own resolve dissolving with every swipe of his tongue. And then the fog cleared. This was the man that had hurt her in ways she didn't even know one could be hurt. She pushed him away, moving the hand from his chest. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead, she brought the hand she'd just removed from his shirt onto his cheek. She slapped him as hard as she could, her brows furrowed and wrenched her other hand away from him, letting herself out the room with a gasp and running down the hall.
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((no fr))
For a few short moments, Cassian felt like he was floating while simultaneously sinking into the depths of the water. Everything about Gabriella was consuming. Her sighs, her hand on her chest, her lips, soft against his. He held her close to his chest, his grip only weakening when she pulled away. He held his breath, waiting for her to say something, anything, and then he heard a sharp cracking sound, his cheek stinging, and he watched her walk away with a dazed look in his eye.
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Gabi didn't run far. Maybe it was because she was hoping Cassian would run after her, asking for forgiveness. And ow. She was pretty sure she'd hurt herself more than she'd hurt him. Who knew slaps hurt the slapper this much??
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Three days later, Cassian was allowed back out of the medical wing. He had a wheelchair and crutches for another three weeks, but he was doing fine. Gabriella had come by each day to see him, both of them ignoring the elephant in the room- their crimes against each other, the awful words said. Even if they hadn't meant it, they were said. And they stung.
