The Sword and Laser discussion

I have just finished reading Barrayar (powered through the audiobook in 4 days) and I found it a much deeper and more interesting read than Shards of Honor. SoH was a fun space adventure/romance, while I thought Barrayar had many more layers. There was the Game of Thrones style political intrigue, the contrast between the societies of Barrayar and Beta Colony, and the family drama of the Vorkosigans.

But the part I found most compelling/disturbing was how Bujold ruthlessly exploited the anxieties of parents and especially mothers… disasters around pregnancy, childbirth, the failure to protect children and a child becoming an orphan were all present. Anyone who’s had children will feel very acutely the horrendous anxiety around such things as (view spoiler)[ sucking down an antidote to poison gas that turns out to be very teratogenic to your unborn child (hide spoiler)] or (view spoiler)[ your child being kidnapped from your home and you being left clutching their shoe (hide spoiler)] or (view spoiler)[ arguments with family members who want you to abort a child you want to keep because they’re disabled (I was relieved by the epilogue showing some rapprochement between the young Miles and his grandfather) (hide spoiler)]. It all kept me reading (listening) but oh boy it was rough going at times. I knew metatextually that Miles would be ok because he’s the hero of the wider Vorkosigan saga but I had no such confidence about the other children (and their parents) who were featured.

How did you all find it? Were those Shields who are also parents particularly affected?

The first time I read it these certainly hit me. My first kid was born with some complications which resulted in a nurse grabbing him shortly after delivery, running out of the delivery room, and down the hall to the neonatal ICU. He just needed a course of antibiotics and some fluids, and there were no lingering effects, but talk about anxiety!

There was just such a huge gulf between our idea of how the whole thing was going to go and how things actually went, that we had no basis for how to really approach the situation. I think back how dumb it was to concoct a whole story in advance of how the birth was going to go, but I don't think I could have helped it. Cordelia's plight definitely tapped into those old feelings, especially when she's dealing with (view spoiler)[ the transfer to the uterine replicator and talking to that doctor who sounds like Miles is an interesting set of circumstances to be puzzled over, almost a science experiment rather than a kid. (hide spoiler)]

I think this is a big reason of why this book is so memorable to me. Just reading it thinking, 'oh no. You did not just take the cub away from the mama bear. This is not going to go well for you.'

J wrote: "I think this is a big reason of why this book is so memorable to me. Just reading it thinking, 'oh no. You did not just take the cub away from the mama bear. This is not going to go well for you.'"

The scene where she comes in with the bag from the fancy shop and Piotr asks her where she’s been and she says “shopping” and then she empties the bag and it contains (view spoiler)[ the severed head of the usurper who stole her child (hide spoiler)] had me punching the air ngl. If someone (view spoiler)[ kidnapped my child (hide spoiler)] I would be inclined towards (view spoiler)[ decapitation (hide spoiler)] too.

Yeah. That's my favorite scene too. Might even fall into a best scene in a book of all time list.

But it's the set-up, where we get invested in the story, that makes the payoff hit so well.

"Oh hey, just did some shopping. Want to see what I got?"....

If Veronica doesn’t talk about this thread at length I will be sorely disappointed. New mom and all that?

Ruth wrote: "... The scene where she comes in with the bag from the fancy shop and Piotr asks her where she’s been and she says “shopping” and then she empties the bag and it contains (view spoiler) had me punching the air ngl. If someone (view spoiler) I would be inclined towards (view spoiler) too."

Oh yeah; fantastic scene!

And some very good lines right after that too.
(view spoiler)[**“But of course,” he breathed. “Every Vor lady goes to the capital to shop.”
“I paid too much for it,” Cordelia confessed.
“That, too, is traditional.”** (hide spoiler)]

Bujold's Afterward to Barrayar is interesting (for those inclined to read such) as it explains her thinking at the time of writing. The following paragraph is illustrative. (Not really a spoiler, but I'll hide it as for those who are sensitive.)

(view spoiler)[**Shards/Barrayar, as it finally evolved, became a book about the price of becoming a parent, particularly but not exclusively a mother. Not just Aral and Cordelia, but all the other supporting couples took up and played their symphonic variations on the theme, exploring its complexities: Kou and Drou, Padma and Alys, Piotr and his dead wife, Vordarian and Serg and Kareen, and most strangely and finally, Bothari and the uterine replicator.** (hide spoiler)]

Clyde wrote: "Bujold's Afterward to Barrayar is interesting (for those inclined to read such) as it explains her thinking at the time of writing. The following paragraph is illustrative. (Not really a spoiler, b..."

Ah, the afterword wasn’t included in the audio version I listened to, thanks for sharing that paragraph, it’s very relevant!

I'm not a parent. Apparently that's not going to be my lot, and that's ok. But I still felt the pain. And, as a woman in general, one paragraph that really stuck out to me in Barrayar was the last paragraph in chapter 13 (spoiler'd below). It shows the state of women's health care in general if (view spoiler)[after Cordelia dies like two or three times in her C-section after getting poisoned in a terror attack and then spends many days (weeks?) on the run with minimal nourishment (hide spoiler)]... it's sad if that was true in the 80s, it still definitely is now.

Passage:
(view spoiler)["Ah." He brightened, and entered this factoid on his report panel. "Postpartum fatigue. This is normal." He lookedd up and regarded her earnestly. "Have you considered starting an exercise program, Lady Vorkosigan?" (hide spoiler)]

^^ that passage made me groan!