briar_prattles discussion

So this discussion is a place where we can all post our writings just to get it out there or get some helpful critique. Poems, paragraphs short stories etc. are all welcome 😉😀

I recently published a book, The Last Captain Sails Again, the first book of a trilogy. It's really the only thing I can share at the moment. I've included a link, so you can read the sample through Amazon. Let me know what you think! I really appreciate as much feedback, positive and negative, as I can get.
https://www.amazon.com/Last-Captain-S...
My brother did the cover art.

Gwynna wrote: "I recently published a book, The Last Captain Sails Again, the first book of a trilogy. It's really the only thing I can share at the moment. I've included a link, so you can read the sample throug..."

I read the sample and during the prologue i was wondering how i felt about the different more piratesque language and whether i liked it or not but i couldn't stop reading so it seems to work well actually. Further, Alymer wonders whether it's worth coming back even to see his parents/family and now im really curious to see whether he's going to be a character that the readers will relate to or whether they won't because of his solidarity - either way it really hooks you! I'm not sure i like the further extended descriptive metaphors but that's more my reading preference. However, I really like the idea of the book, it has to slowly reveal to the readers the current conflict but also the war before and the characters are animals! (Not sure if they ALL are but the main character appears to be.)
This genuinely looks like an awesome book and it's very impressive you were able to finish one, you should be really proud (It's really cool that your brother did the awesome cover too!)
📖🙌

Julliete wrote: "Gwynna wrote: "I recently published a book, The Last Captain Sails Again, the first book of a trilogy. It's really the only thing I can share at the moment. I've included a link, so you can read th..."

Thanks for your feedback. I've been working on the book for about three years now, so I'm very glad to have it out.
So the two points you made, the piratesque language and the extended descriptive metaphors. What about them do you dislike? I would like to know, since I'm working on writing the second book in the series, not to mention I want to be a writer, so I want to know how my readers will think. Is it difficult to read? Does it make it hard to keep concentration? Is it boring? I really appreciate your thoughts!
My brother did an amazing job on the cover, he's one of those people who has an eye for detail.

Gwynna wrote: "Julliete wrote: "Gwynna wrote: "I recently published a book, The Last Captain Sails Again, the first book of a trilogy. It's really the only thing I can share at the moment. I've included a link, s..."

None of these points overruled your brilliant writing, these were simply little tweaks that popped out. The piratesque language only made me really focus on how words were being said and what they really meant instead of letting me interpret to a point how the characters acted and said them, making them slightly harder to relate to or imagine as real, but this was mainly in the prologue and since it is a book about pirates it probably works overall. I liked your metaphors, only sometimes certain elements were described too much, i found, as soon as i grasped and imagined the metaphor for a thing the same thing would be described with different description. It just meant that certain brilliant metaphors or words weren't as valued as they should have been because there were so many. This is simply what i thought but these points do not detract from the amazing book itself. :)

Julliete wrote: "Gwynna wrote: "Julliete wrote: "Gwynna wrote: "I recently published a book, The Last Captain Sails Again, the first book of a trilogy. It's really the only thing I can share at the moment. I've inc..."

Thank you for your explanations, that helps a great deal. I am glad you enjoyed it!