Introverted But Willing To Discuss Books discussion

Book Chat

If you want to we can discuss each chapter! I have had to study a lot so I am starting the book later today and then we can discuss the first chapter!

That sounds good!

Okay Ive read ordinary and a bit further because I wasnt sure if that was a whole chapter, how far have you read

Can I join this? I loved the book the first time I read it and would like to read it again to discuss with others

I read up to his birth. It’s been a strange day and I didn’t get too far. I had trouble with my seizure meds.

Drew- absolutely join! We just started

@Jeni - Thank you! I'm looking forward to reading it again.

Ive read a bit further and I like how honest it feels, and how clearly the feelings of the main character is potrayed, it feels like a book that really gives you some insight into the daily life of being viewed as very different

I like how the main character is setting up how “normal” (I hate that word) he is and his family. He has a good family.

Yeah it feels like a way to communicate that he is actually just like everybody else and shouldnt be seen as fundamentally different, from what Ive read thats a message that seems like it keeps popping up, it feels like something the books tries to do is make you look past the superficial and see the person

Okay ive read some backstory on why it was written, and the thing that inspired the author was when their son saw a girl with facial deformities and reacted with stress

Something that I feel the author does very well is how theyve written the relationships and the characters, how the parents try to help, was there anything you guys (including jeni) thought about the characters or relationships?

I liked the insight that August felt ordinary but even though his family loves him the way he is, they unwittingly treat him special. I love his sister. She defends him. I’m a big sister so I know what that’s like. I will fight anybody that hurts her physically or emotionally.

Does anyone have history with someone with a disability?

@Carl - I like the relationship between Auggie and his parents. Sometimes stories get caught up in trying to make every family "perfect" but the truth is, siblings fight and parents disagree about how to take care of their children especially when special needs are considered.

@Jeni - I have history with people with disabilities

to some extent, when I worked at Erikshjälpen which is a second hand store in sweden I had a lot of collegues with disabilities, they are given salary by the state and work there because they cant work anywhere else, then it was very important to be understanding and not judge them for things they cant control

@Drew - Yes I really liked that they showed that both parents want him to be happy but disagree on how much protection he should have

I love that there is a place for them to work. We have a big grocery store chain called Giant Foods, and they do the same thing.

I have a long history with disabilities. I grew up with a mom who taught deaf children, and then I had a daughter who was born deaf. How convenient. Then my second daughter was born autistic. I'm on medical leave now because of seizures but I worked over 25 years with children with disabilities, facial malformations, and other rare genetic diseases. I was a scrub nurse in a children's hospital that did facial and dental reconstruction.

I think I need to catch up. I am trying to finish another book I started a few days ago so that I can focus on Wonder. But no matter how far I get in the other book, I am going to set it down to read more of Wonder tonight.

Can either of you relate to thinking about how protective you should be about your children (if either of you have any)?

As a mom of disabled kids, I am very protective but more behind the scenes. I advocate hard core for them, especially regarding school. I made it a very important lesson for them to know their disabilities and teach them how to laugh at themselves. I told them the world will be unkind and they have to understand humor is the best weapon they have. But inside I want to beat everyone up.

@Carl - I can relate to feeling protective over those I care about. Many of my friends had physical and/or mental disabilities

@Jeni - my feed doesnt update live so sorry if it seems like I just ignored something written I just didnt see it, yeah I think its super important that they have a place to go, not just for socialising and having a safe space where its okay to be different but also to feel like they contribute and have worth

@Carl- no worries. My computer is slow most of the time. It has surprising moments of actually working.

I couldn't agree more. There should be more places like that.

@Jeni - What are the the biggest challenges with having a deaf daughter? Can you relate a lot to the mother in the book? (I am not good at knowing when I am overstepping whats personal territory so please be understanding if I do)

@Drew - I have had friends with disabilities and I also felt the need to be protective, something that I also felt though is that often the relationship is deeper than it would have been otherwise because you stand up for each other, where as an ordinary person may be less dependent but also connected to the people around them because ultimately they dont feel as strongly that they need really good friends who they can rely on

@Drew - can you relate to that?

You are not overstepping at all. I am very open. Sadly I haven't gotten to that part yet. I will be reading more tonight and catch up with you and Drew.

The biggest challenges I had with my deaf daughter would be everyone (strangers) telling me they are sorry when they find out she can't hear. I kept thinking "She's deaf, not dead." Then everyone (family) would comment on my parenting and tell me their opinions and constantly tell me I am wrong. As if they are such an expert.

@Carol - I can definitely relate to that. I think along with being more protective of each other, the friends who had some kind of disability also found comfort in having someone who didn't treat them differently and could recognize their struggles didn't make them less capable.
@Jeni- I'm so sorry that other people in your family are telling you that you're wrong in how you're parenting your daughters. No one is an expert on parenting and please know you're doing amazing!

@Drew- thank you! I'm used to my family. That side of the family are Asian and it's in their genes to know everything and criticize. They can dish it but never take it.

@Jeni - well maybe not in their genes but they shouldnt critize, looking forward to discussing more when youve read more, same for you Drew I am going to bed now trying to pretend that the weekend wont be over when I wake up, goodnight!

Goodnight.

I was surprised that Auggie's mom was the one pushing him to go to school and his father was reluctant. In my experience, it's usually the other way around. I was alone in raising my girls so I never had to deal with compromising on what I wanted to do. That was one thing I was most happy about being a single mom. But in my case, my girls didn't "look" disabled so I never had to think about what Auggie's parents do. Maybe I would have done things differently and been more like his dad.

@Jeni I think I understand his mom's perspective of wanting Auggie to experience "real" school. She realises she can't teach him things that don't come from a textbook like social interaction and how to compromise in group settings and getting to experience a school dance. His dad, even though he's working hard and paying bills and helping his family, isn't there everyday parenting, teaching and being the main friend of Auggie.

@Drew That's a very good point. Each parent knows and loves Auggie equally but differently at the same time.

Haven’t gotten any updates about this… is anyone still interested in reading it?