Outhouse of Uncool discussion

I was inspired by a comment in another thread about a phobia to square-shaped food.

I have two "food phobias" that I can think of right now: 1. I hate it when any of my food is touching on my plate. Hate it. 2. I hate eating meat on meat. As in, why put bacon on hamburger. Gross!!!

And I have friends that refuse to eat any meat on the bone. Like, chicken breast is okay. Chicken wing, not okay.

I'm not sure if these food phobias are uncool or just anal-retentive...or both.

Shell..can any food touch any other food? Like can ketchup touch food? Or does the food have to be solid to not touch each other?

I'm a vegetarian, so I guess I have a meat phobia...I'm always sniffing my food for hidden meat.

Condiments can touch food, no problems there. But I don't want my potato salad to meet up with my baked beans, you know? Stuff like that. I realize it gets all mixed together in my stomach, but I don't want it to touch on the plate. Weird?

Can you smell the hidden meat?

I know a lot of people who don't like their food to touch on the plate. My uncle has to make about seven trips to the food table at Thanksgiving (there's always so much food and so many people that we do it buffet-style) because he can only put three or four dishes on his plate at a time. And in my family, we make lots and lots of different dishes at Thanksgiving!

I can't eat chicken tenders because I don't like that membrane running down the middle. If I'm eating chicken, I get grossed out if there is a vein and I can't eat anymore. I never ever eat chicken wings. When I eat pork, I have to trim ALL the fat from around the chop and can't eat any meat that's marbled. I no longer eat beef because I once had a big bit of gristle and then it was all over for me.

Oh and my best friend won't eat food with grill marks on it. She felt very vindicated in tis decision when Johns Hopkins scientists discovered that grill marks can cause cancer.

Wait--chicken tenders have a membrane running down the middle? Ugh.

This isn't exactly a phobia, more of a quirk, but when I eat ho ho's I have to first eat off the chocolate layer on all sides, then I unroll it bit by bit and eat it. I can't just bite into it and eat it in 4 bites. It's really an art.

Shell, they certainly do! It's white and nasty when the chicken is raw and when the chicken is cooked it turns clear and has the consistency of boogers.

Well, let's take chicken tenders off my to-eat list then. Ha! That's what we need--to-eat lists, similar to our GR to-read lists.

On my to-eat list today is a pint of Breyers Reese's Peanut butter cup ice cream. Hhhhmmmm....

I really don't want maple syrup on anything but my pancakes or waffles. No syrup on my eggs, or my hash browns, or my turkey sausage, please. Yuck.

Maple syrup is delicious on bacon.

I eat with a myriad of plates and/or bowls so that my food doesn't touch. My sister and BIL have simply gotten used to it and set the table with extra for me. I can't have anything juicy or condiment laden oozing onto other stuff. Jacks, I'm totally with you on the syrup. When we make big breakfast my eggs and veggie sausage go on one plate and my pancakes/waffles/french toast have their own plate. Salad should ALWAYS go in a bowl, because of the dressing. And, I won't eat fruit on food...fruit is sweet and should not be mixed with my savories!

I partially became a veggie because of the whole disgusting and cruel raising & slaughtering of animals thing, and partially because I found it so gross. I could eat it, if I smothered it in condiments and OCD trimmed all of the blubber and cartilage off. I'm with Sarah on veins and any other yuck parts. I wouldn't even eat sausage, are you kidding? "Lips and Assholes" as my dad used to say. Gyech!

Sarah only likes chicken with blue feet...

Vurp

My food phobia is probably just weird. I can't eat in the dark.

Popcorn before a movie? No problem. If the movie is brightly lit and I can see what I'm putting in my mouth, still no problem but if I can't see my food then who knows what could have slipped in. Ugh.

I'm right there with you, Azra, I hate it when I can't see my food properly. It take the enjoyment out of it for me.

That's funny, Amelia, my dad always calls hot dogs "asslids and eyeholes." Yeah, weird I know.

I love maple syrup on my sausage, eggs and hash browns!

I eat omelets with strawberry jam slathered all over them.

Vurp (that's my vurp inducer, right there...sweet on salty. I don't even like jam on toast, only in turnovers...or on biscuts, which for some reason are a sweet to me. I hate them with gravy, only jam or honey.)

Azra--vurp is a vomit-burp. (In case you couldn't tell...)

I like sweet and salty together but strawberry jam on an omelette? Ew. And this from the girl who can't let her food touch???

French fries dipped in a hot fudge sundae... yum!!

:::now lives with this really amusing image of Anthony sniffing his food and glancing around with this paranoid look on his face:::

Hey, don't knock the jam on omelet until you've tried it! The food not touching thing doesn't apply because jam is a condiment, silly.

French fries dipped in hot fudge sundae? You're making that up!!!

Oh, and I used to snort coke up my nose through a straw. And I'm talking about Coca-cola, people.

No! French fries in a hot fudge sundae is heaven.

What kind of fries? Wedges or the skinny ones? Should I try this? I'm intrigued..

And I like to put milk on my ice cream.

The skinny ones. The best way to try it is at McDonald's.

We used to put milk on our ice cream when we were kids.

No, she's not. My mom always dipped them in chocolate frostie from Wendy's. I've known a bunch of people that dip in chocolate shakes. Weird huh? Ruining perfectly good fries like that?

I put milk on my pudding, but not my ice cream. I guess that's basically a milk shake, though, just not mixed up.
I like those chocolate-covered pretzels. And those chocolate-covered graham crackers. And chocolate-covered coffee beans...

And chocolate-covered Colin Firth...

Yowza!

Does he melt in your mouth and not your hand? I HAD to say it!!

Oh my!

I greatly esteem Colin Firth...

Oops! Sorry! Totally crass of me.

no Shell, that would be candy coated Colin Firth.

Does he melt in your mouth and not your hand?

There's only one way to find out, Shell.

Everyone at my office is wondering why I'm laying with my head on my desk laughing my ass off right now.

Yes, only one way to find out *Shell says as she rolls up her sleeves*

Yeah, I'm pretty spoiled, cause whenever you guys make me laugh out loud, I just read my bosses the part of the thread that was funny.

Lucky!!!!

Since this is a food thread...I hate Mushrooms. They are fungus after all, and they grow on poo. I don't eat Fungus!

Ah, Amelia, I'm a mushroom lover!! But I know plenty of people that hate mushrooms.

I love exotic foods. I was just at a sushi place and tried monkfish liver. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like--the liver of the monkfish. It was nice and buttery.

I'll try just about anything, once.

Last night at dinner I was drinking a mojito and my husband informed me of a food phobia I didn't know he had: solid material coming through his straw. He said he'd never be able to drink a mojito through a straw because a piece of mint leaf coming through it would freak him out. He can't drink pulpy orange juice through a straw either. It's not a problem drinking from the glass, just through a straw.

I don't like pulpy orange juice in any form. Bleh. I'm with your husband on the straw thing, too. Sometimes if I try to drink thick liquids through a straw I feel like I might blow out my lungs.

Sarah--that's a good one. I feel the same way as your husband and RA. I don't want anything but liquid coming up my straw.

My favorite DQ blizzard is a Nerds blizzard. It is so weird to chew your ice cream, but you have to when it's a Nerd blizzard. Nerds. Yum. Try sucking that up your straw.

"Suck that through your straw" is the new "put that in your pipe and smoke it." Hee!

The drink I get from Starbucks has caramel in it and I love it when it comes through the straw. I get the first, strong shocking taste of the espresso and then the caramel melts on my tongue. Heaven.

If I have a milkshake, and you have a milkshake, and I take my straw.......

Wow, Sarah, you made that drink sound soooo good. The only thing I like from Starbucks is one of their dark, dark roasts with a little creme and sugar. That's the life. I drink my 16 ozs. o' coffee every morning, or the cranky Shell appears.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

I like straws. They are fun in an uncool way.
Keep your straw away from MY milkshake, Charissa!

I love bendy straws!!!

oh Jackie.... so many jokes... so little time....

...I'm the one who can't eat square foods.

Why is that again, Clack?

No idea. My Mom recalls that I tore the roof of my mouth open on a stale saltine when I was young, and that's her theory for it. I suppose that explanation is as good as any.