The Mighty Pen Writing Club discussion

What's the difference between criticism and just hating? How do you deal with it? How do you keep criticism in perspective? Let's face it, it can be hard to see our babies ripped up!

I've been editing with a friend and criticism can be hard to deal with! I mean, you spend hours working and then someone tears apart your baby! Something that I found (I think it was on writingexcuses, but I'm not sure) was to tell myself "There's no ego in writing" and to take myself out of the equation. It's helped so much it's crazy. Because I take myself out, I'm more willing to cut things I later realize were darlings that needed to be killed.
But yeah, if all there is is negative comments, then it's hard to take what they say seriously.

I have a system when it comes to critical reviews. I ask myself the following questions:

1. Is their complaint about my writing or about some facet of the story that they don't agree with?
2. Is what they're saying reasonable?
3. Is there actually anything constructive I can take away from this?
4. Is their criticism justified or did they just seem to not "get" it?

I seen authors rant and rave at constructive criticism that I felt was honest and positive and I've seen authors fall to pieces from unjustified hatemail.

Personally, I've learned more about writing from the criticism than I ever have from the praise so I tend to look at critical reviews as an opportunity to learn and grow. I think the real trick, though, is separating the jewels from the rough with criticism. I'm not really going to accept criticism from someone who honestly just didn't seem to get my writing. There's a world of difference between that person and the person who got it but felt it could be improved.

Kat wrote: "I have a system when it comes to critical reviews. I ask myself the following questions:

1. Is their complaint about my writing or about some facet of the story that they don't agree with?
2. Is ..."

I liked this because you started with avoiding the emotional response and developing a rational one with which to respond to the (negative) review.

Positive thinking. Can't have too much when writing, huh? :D

To me, the hardest part is when I think someone's being super critical and isn't helping, but then I tell someone else and they tell me that the advice is right. You know what I mean? When you don't want listen because the advice is right, because it means that you totally messed up.