Writers Unite discussion

Dubstep (literature & fiction)

Split the vaccine into three pieces lacking the fourth
mournful tone of spinal cord,
snake-like conversion of noise
and industrial scenery is complete
to dissipate it all, all that's lacking the fourth piece
and all that was once tidy and clean.

The vaccine kicks in bottles of poisonous waterfalls
as the fourth part alleviates the pain of the fake chronicles
depicting fictitious cheerful factories.
Altogether they follow the fourth way:
the compromise,
the silk embraced by steel,
the spinal cord regaining its longitude
through the mournful adjectives of a submissive life.

© Astrid

Ok, this is too deep for a dummy like me to understand :P

I am speechless. This is so amazing, Astrid! You are really talented :D

I guessed dat too. but can anyone explains wat it means? *blushes*

cure for paralysis? but perhaps in a dream...?

Absolutely lovely. And even that doesn't really do it justice.

Rj Amina wrote: "Ok, this is too deep for a dummy like me to understand :P"

come on!:))

Carina wrote: "I am speechless. This is so amazing, Astrid! You are really talented :D"

thank you (blushing)

T-Rose wrote: "cure for paralysis? but perhaps in a dream...?"

that would make an original approach sure

Annabelle Lovell wrote: "Absolutely lovely. And even that doesn't really do it justice."

thank yoouu

ooohkay. then m impressed. :P

Rj Amina wrote: "ooohkay. then m impressed. :P"

fair enough:))

maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regaining its longitude" sounds like "I stood up straight and stood tall" this poem makes me think of someone regaining their strength after many tries of falling down or being put down. the lmention of vaccines throughout the poem seems like its metaphorical for all of the tries and fails of the person's past as trying to get back on their feet again. do i sound even remotely close to what you were getting at astrid?

*Mouth drop* I love this. I think it's like some kind of cure for people who's spine has broken?

Ok wow. I need to get my brain checked. why didn't I think of that?!

Icefire wrote: "*Mouth drop* I love this. I think it's like some kind of cure for people who's spine has broken?"

not...really, but it's your approach so I can't tell, my job was done once I finished writing the thingy

T-Rose wrote: "maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regaining its longitude" sounds like "I stood up straight and stood ..."

Yes you do, however what you're saying doesn't have to be the same as my intentions. Nicely said though :) I was actually thinking about acceptance rather than rebirth, acceptance of an ambiguity which will never seize to let go in any respect, so that all that is left is just to imagine there still is a possibility of resurrection. It's about letting things be and become without future involvement.

*steps out of the room*

Man, u guys tlk so complicated *scaratches head*

how old r u, Astrid? 80? xP

awww, no wonder :P

no temme. seriously?

Rj Amina wrote: "awww, no wonder :P

no temme. seriously?"

what is this, facebook?

Rj Amina wrote: "*steps out of the room*

Man, u guys tlk so complicated *scaratches head*

how old r u, Astrid? 80? xP"

92

gawd, I'm asking ur real age!!

Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regaining its longitude" sounds like "I stood up stra..."

yeah...that completely makes sense. and in that case, what your actually saying makes the poem seem like a tragedy. it's like saying that we have to let the world just be the way that it is which is tragic within itself because as we all know...the world is a f@cked place. why should we just let it be? (that's rhetorical)

T-Rose wrote: "Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regaining its longitude" sounds like "..."

Just take it as a random thought for an artistic purpose, nothing pragmatic whatsoever.

ur age astrid? m really really curious now?

Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regaining its longitude..."

okie doke. oh and if i haven't said it already. nice job =)

T-Rose wrote: "Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "Astrid wrote: "T-Rose wrote: "maybe not paralysis. im thinking of 'reborn'or coming up from something sad, bad or traumatic. you know...the line "spinal cord regainin..."

thanks again :))