Terminalcoffee discussion

...dragging yourself to the dentist (or doctor) with no incentives other than the knowledge that you're supposed to. I miss being told I'd get a new Breyer horse or a book if I got through the appointment.

...when you are looking around for someone else to pay the bills all you have to do is look in the mirror.

...not quitting a job just because you don't like it when you have bills to pay and nothing else lined up to replace it.

...being able to eat a whole box of fudge-sickles all by yourself because you bought em

Kevin wins.

Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "...being able to eat a whole box of fudge-sickles all by yourself because you bought em"

That fact doesn't seem to stop my stepson from eating everything he doesn't buy.

There was a brief moment in college when I thought being a grownup meant getting to eat sugary cereal whenever I wanted, if I wanted. Then I realized I actually didn't want to, which was its own victory and its own disappointment.

don't be a hater barb. i'll buy you your own box :)

...having your own Corningware. Or at least that's how I felt in September when I found two pieces with their lids at a thrift store. I felt like a real grown-up woman. :-)

...being responisble for everything and everyone in your household. They all rely on you, look up to you, and expect you to have all the answers...gulp...YIKES!Can I go back to being a kid now?...aw nevermind...it was the same way for me then too...damn!

....regularly knowing people who die

...realizing you morphed into your dad the moment your first child was born.

Taking responsibility for your actions. And not saying "My addict made me." "I'm bi-polar." "My childhood was bad." etc.

I think there are a lot of fun things about being a grown up. I think we talked about some of this in a high school thread once...the idea that anyone who says to high school kids "these are the best years of your life" is fucking stupid. I HATED fucking high school. And even if I liked it, well, there are plenty of opportunities to be happy later in life, too. So yes, adulthood is a lot of responsibility. But it's also the self-assured feeling of knowing who you are, and liking who you are, hopefully, and I haven't really found that until the last couple of years.

I wasn't that crazy about high school, either, RA, but junior high was even worse.

For me, being a grown up means taking responsibility for oneself, knowing that you are responsible for one's actions, and yes, self acceptance.

Paying your own way, saying I'm sorry and not only meaning it, but knowing it does not always salvage the situation, taking care of your aged parents

Being responsible, and reliable. Being where you say you're going to be, calling someone when you told them you'd call them. Having a budget and sticking to it. Loving the taste of strong coffee. Trying to be a good, well-informed citizen. Doing laundry even when you don't feel like it. Obeying the traffic laws. Learning the traffic laws, including that one about pedestrians in the crosswalk. Observing the golden rule.

...being able to stay out at late as you want and realizing that you're trying to make it home before dark.

...keeping your word. It is freedom. Choose where you want to live; choose who/what you surround yourself with; choose what to do for money. Lots of choices.

....not having anyone telling you what to do and how to think. That is a clear definition of freedom.

Hate to go against the flow RA and Jackie (well, not really) but whoever says your high-school years are the best years of your life is not only telling the truth, but should be screaming it from atop a mountain somewhere.

The unholy triumvirate of sex, drugs, and rock and roll combined with a paucity of responsibilities sure sounds like heaven to me. I had a blast and would warp back to 1976 in a fat friggin' second if I could.

...not being able to enjoy the good parts about unemployment, i.e. not having to get up to an alarm, I can stay in my pj's for an long as I want, because you're worried about your financial future. :-(

I apologize for the mostly downer thread. I was having trouble convincing myself to go to the dentist. It wasn't so bad. No cavities.

Lucky you. I have one and have to go back for a drilling and a filling. (My Shuffle is fully charged.)

Clark wrote: "Hate to go against the flow RA and Jackie (well, not really) but whoever says your high-school years are the best years of your life is not only telling the truth, but should be screaming it from atop a mountain somewhere.

The unholy triumvirate of sex, drugs, and rock and roll combined with a paucity of responsibilities sure sounds like heaven to me. I had a blast and would warp back to 1976 in a fat friggin' second if I could..."

Now see, Clark, I didn't exactly HAVE "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" during my high school years. I had Friday nights at home, band practice, and youth group.

College was way better for me. Not that high school was bad, just that I was a little more comfortable in my own skin in college.

Sarah Pi wrote: "I apologize for the mostly downer thread. I was having trouble convincing myself to go to the dentist. It wasn't so bad. No cavities."

Actually, I'm quite enjoying this thread. It's the shared experience of being an ad--, ad--, adult.

I had moments in high school that were great and still have some great, great friends from it. Although, I only communicate with them on FB. I think high school is horrible in peoples minds because we're all so hormonal during those years that everything is magnified.

King Dinösaur wrote: "If your high school years are your best, why bother to go on living?

The only people I know who would consider high school the best years of their lives are living like they still think they are b..."


Good point, KD. Perhaps I should amend that to say "some" of the best years of your life. Despite my constant rants about my daughters (who have just had an 11th Circle of Hell named in their honor by the Vatican), I wouldn't trade my life now for another kick at the cat.

Joe Cool? Hardly... I just never bought into all of the posturing, head games, staking out territory, and attempts at imposing some sort of teenage caste system by my classmates. Can't understand why so many kids do. Everyone's different I guess.

Which begs the question: if high school was so great, why have I never attended one of my class reunions?

Because high school reunions are for people to show off how great their lives are now, if they are great. It's just a continuation of the high school games.

The caste system and cliques in my high school was weird. It seemed like the more unique you were the more popular you were. The drama club was the largest club in the school, we had at least 100 members. We could even letter in drama (and I did). We had jocks from the football and wrestling teams and cheerleaders in the drama club. The more socially mistfit of us took the stagecraft class and were doing the behind the scenes stuff for our production. I did both that and the acting too but hung around with all the stagecraft people. I've always wanted to write a book about all that but I could never get a good story going.

I never went to any high school reunions, but in June of this year I went to my 50th. A guy that had a crush on me in HS was dressed in a Hawaiian shirt covered in scantily clad ladies. He kept winking at me. Fui. The food was dull, and the entertainment was an Elvis impersonator. They opened with a prayer that mentioned Jesus about 20 times, and all the groups that clung together in HS were still clinging. I don't care how long I live, I will never go to another. I'm a grown-up damn it.

To me, being a grown up has given me the ability to actually listen to people when they talk. To hear their advice and recognize that they mean well, even if the words they say are stupid. I wasn't able to do that as a know-it-all-teenager.

As for the reunion thing- I skipped my 5-year, 10-year, and 15-year reunions. My husband and I decided to give our 20-year a try this coming summer, though. We've been together since I was 12, and know all the same school people, but he's in the Army and we've always been very far from home. I'm starting to think deciding to go is a mistake!

...when you start talking in numbers.

I've wanted to post in this thread since it started but I just can't. I don't think I identify as an adult.

If your high school years are your best, why bother to go on living?

The only people I know who would consider high school the best years of their lives are living like they still think they are back there...pathetic.

Yes, this was what I was trying to say. I mean, even if you have a great high school experience, if you're a seventeen year old, and you hear an older person say this, what does that mean of the future, you know?

My oldest son, now in sixth grade, is way different than I was then, in a good way, I think. He wants to get involved in everything...sports, drama, etc. I'm glad he does...he loves school. Except for his math teacher, who's a bitch.

RandomAnthony wrote: "If your high school years are your best, why bother to go on living?

The only people I know who would consider high school the best years of their lives are living like they still think they are b..."

My 13-year-old too, too RA.

smetchie wrote: "I've wanted to post in this thread since it started but I just can't. I don't think I identify as an adult."

I mostly do when I'm paying bills or taking myself to the dentist.

admitting YOU made the mistake or did the wrong thing.

Welcome to TC Michele. Thanks for jumping in.

being able to spend ALL your discretionary income on books..picking out your own books to boot with no one looking over your shoulder saying "do you really want to spend money on THAT?"

I was thinking about that with regards to chocolate bars the other day.

I remember crossing Broadway in my coolest t-shirt (it had a leopard on it, from the Bronx Zoo) when I was ten years old and going into the convenience/party store for some stickers and looking at the candy bars and thinking "someday I'll be able to buy a Snickers whenever I want." I think I have bought about three in my entire life since then.

RandomAnthony wrote: "I'm glad he does...he loves school. Except for his math teacher, who's a bitch. "

I wonder if any of my students' parents think I'm a bitch.

I was in a bookstore the other day (I know--outmoded way to buy books these days), a little boy about 6 wanted 2 books but mom said only one..she left and I told him to cheer up when he grew up he could buy as many books as he could afford.

Flossing.

Lobstergirl wrote: "Flossing."

flossing without someone asking you if you did it.

I can remember the first time I acted as an adult. My then husband was in the hospital in Alabama with a serious case of septicemia. I was in a new town, did not know anyone as I had just moved there 1 wk previously...I went to pour out my woes into my mom's or dad's ears...and stopped. Because what could they do? they were in NH both of them worked full time and could not come down and keep me company. So, I didn't call them because they would only be able to worry long distance. That's the day I grew up.

In what context are you using this? Do you mean not having someone telling you that you have to floss or having to floss to save whatever teeth you have left?

i floss, but i don't identify as an adult.

I think the first time I really felt like an adult was when we got a new washer and dryer. I was ridiculously excited.

Dealing with annoyingly bratty 14-year-olds, like me