Creative Writing discussion

Description:

Rings have been created. What do they do and what is there significance of existence? The rings are the focus.


Restrictions:
*No Elves, No Dwarfs, No Wizards, No hobbits (nothing Lord of the Rings).
*Can not be on the earth! Must be on some other world.

Requirements:
*Must be at least 3 different rings.
*Must have a fight between two characters. (verbal or physical)


((Level of difficulty? Hard? Do you accept the challenge? :P ))

"Shut it Night!" I yell grabbing my coat as i storm out of the room. "Aww come on Siress, it's not going to kill you!"
"It minus well!" I feel the glow of power in my jacket, Night can be so stuipid sometimes. He catches up with me. "Really, will one night kill you?"
"Yes. Move it." I stop and feel a cold feeling crawl up my neck. "What? You forgot something?"
"No, now hurray, the meetings going to start!" I start into a quick jog, and Night matched my pace. "Arn't you going to put them on?"
"Not yet."
"Come on, i already have mine on." He waved his hand full of rings in my face. I grab his arm, and twist him, sidesteping and crosing it behind his back. "You. beat. it. I have no time for pathetic mortals like you." I shove him, and take off, oh please don't be late!

"Siress!" The voice echos and i cringe. "Yeah?" I peep. "You late. Again." I aplogies and we start the quick meeting, demon slaying time. I grin at my friend, Tessery, and pick out three of my rings. Fire, Speed, and motor skill improvement. A boy named Jess comes over. "I'm paired with you two today." he says. We nod. "Which ones are you wearing?"
"Fire, Speed, Improve." I say. "Water, Ice, hieght." Tess said. Jess nods and shows his hand. "Lava, power, improve." Do i see a smile on the corner of his lips? Why am i looking at his lips?

"Go!" I hear, and a battle call. the gates open and i raise my silver dagger. running into the dark forest, Tess and Jess in persuit of me.

It takes a bit for the demons to show, but they do, a lot too. About forty of them come at us, as dark as the shadows and as quick as lighting. But its' not problem for us fifteeners. I slash at them and kick. Were down to the last ten. Were all grinning, fancy time. I kick demon back, and drag my dagger across his face, then pin him against a tree choking him. Tess working on three or so, fancy with her sword work.

I look over at Jess. I blink, he's almost quicker then the demons. His dark hair and eyes blend in with the shadows and his graceful strong movements. He looks over at me, after taking out five demons. "Siress!" he said, dashing at me, I turn dagger raised, and swear. A top demon. A demon way to powerful for only three of us. It grabs my hand, but i slash and kick it, but it won't die, dang it!

Tess is stuck with the little demons, her ice is working for her though. Ice, i have fire! Yes! I raise my dagger again, it's glowing with blue and orange fire. I grin and stabb it. Dang! It won't die! I swear, but then Jess comes up behind it, and i see a radiant red glow starting threw it's stomach, then growing and then it bursts into flames, screaming. It cuts my arm right before it burns my shoulder and then single handly Jess takes down the demon.

I stare at him. Not even an adult could have done that. He looks at my arm, bloody, and my burned shoulder. "Hurrey Tess!" He shouts over the demons screams, and picks me up, just at the demon blood sinks into my bloodstrime and i pass out. the last thing i see is his dark blue eyes looking at me, his curly black hair bouncing up and down as he carries me back.

((should i continue?))

((can i do a story even though Asami did one?))

((of course!))

Ji Mei- go ahead. It's open to everyone!

Asami- That was a very good take on it. The detaching of rings. And i liked how there was more than one, so that conflict was pulled off of capturing the power of the ring, and it was put on the the fight between the main characters and the Demons. I also like that one of the MC's was hurt. But i do think that you should add more onto it, to explain the part where it was like "'Go!'" and make some parts of the battle scene more intense. The reader eats fights scenes up!))

I'm working on it, my ideas are mulling in my head *taps chin*

I have an idea but i am too lazy to get it down in writing. But im going to do a picture play right now. I've planned that one for a long time.

I was thinking of doing realistic fiction of like a girl who gets married and is all 'this stupid ring, what does it mean? NOTHING' and then...yeah.
Lame.

actually that sounds really good. I'll write mine. But you should go for it. You can always do more than one.

I walked through the halls nervously. I kept my wings close to my body as I was led to the Hall of Drekar. Sconces lining the walls flickered with magical white flames. Slowly, I went up to four pedestals. On top of three pedestals stood majestic dragons, the last one empty. Each of them looked down upon me and I noticed their rings of authority glowing on a chain around their necks. I swallowed my nervousness and bowed.
"Arise, son of the late Nereus, and state what business you have." called the dragon on the very far left.
I stood up and looked at each of them in turn as I said, "As you know, I'm the only heir of my father. This means that I am to take his place as a member of the Drekar."
"What an absurd idea! You are barely the age of a warrior! Have you even gone through the trials?" A female dragon looked at him with distaste.
"I have, and I'm one of the youngest of my clan to do so." I said calmly as I could. I raised my head and looked at her defiantly.
"You have to admit, Svetlana, that he is worthy to take his father's place." The first dragon glanced at the other other dragon to see that she was also in agreement.
Svetlana scoffed. "Zopyros, he is as worthy as a young one."
"I am not a pathetic young one!" I raised my voice. "I'll let you know that I have been in battles before and I have help our kind exceedingly!"
"Ha! Our kind? Our kind is considered one of the noblest races in this world! And you say we need help? Your father disgraced our kind by thinking that the elfin race could ever have peace with us. He is the one that caused the battles that you have fought!" Svetlana spat.
I felt my anger surge. "My father? My father is more noble than you! My father is a hero, who found a solution to our endless battle! Our kind isn't disgraced by his actions. Our kind is disgraced by the likes of your fear and inability to accept peace!" I roared.
"How dare you! I do not fear. It was your father who feared that our kind would never win the war! It was your father who made our kind fear! I, at least, helped lead our kind from the fear your father has caused!" Svetlana sneered at me, her eyes filled with spite.
I felt my own eyes fill with spite and was about to counter back when Zopyros roared, "Enough!"
"But-" Svetlana began.
"I said enough!" Zopyros regarded her with a firm gaze. "Since their is a disagreement among us, we will present Marinus," he gestured toward me," and let a vote be cast on him after he shows his worth."
"And how will I show my worth?" I gazed at him.
"Ah," he smiled at me. "You will see."
((How's that? I'm sorry I didn't before, but I was recently wasn't allowed on this sight. Is it okay that I mention elves? I didn't use them as main characters, but I didn't want to do the typical human vs. dragons thing...))

it was good. but there was a lot of terminology, you might want to cut down on that for future writing ;)

Yeah... I just wanted something different than the regular thing, so I looked up dragons in another language and found out drekar is dragons in Icelandic and I made up the other stuff...

i have do idea what you just said...

Oh, sorry.... Which terminology should I cut down on?

Zopyros--- make easier to pronouce, same with the name of the hall. if that is okay with you.

Now that i look back at it. There wasn't too much terminology in there. But just for future writing tips ;)

Oh, okay! Thanks! I wouldn't think of people not being able to pronounce some of those words, so I guess I'll make a pronunciation guide next time.