Problems with Life/Emos and Goths discussion
Goodbye...
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Every one bites the dust! *music is my sole*
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May 07, 2011 02:39PM
'remember my story and..... i love you and that is all that matters' or somthing like that
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I'd tell my secrets, mainly...and tell the people I love that I love them...
Id tell the truth I'd send an email to all my friends or a txt to them and say to plz not forward or something and say I love them and will miss them. That's all though. I'd spend a day with my best friends and make it worth it and say goodbye to their face.
Then to my family I would write something to all my family members and tell them I love them and will miss them and they mean the world to me and MUCH more...but i could never go through with suicide
I never tred to say good bye before any of my attempts. Because by saying good bye, or telling someone thatyou love them, you are acknowledgeing that they DO matter to you. Which of course means that there IS something to hold on to. So it would make leaving that much harder.
You all. shouldn't be thinking of these things!
I keep moping around about how things aren't how I want them to be. Well I need to buck up and make them the way I want them to be!! If I want something I usually quit but I need to stop that and work at something without quiting until the job is done!!
I don't tend to think so much of my last words, unless I am resentful and thinking of words that would hurt someone. What makes me cry and works as a good death deterrent is to think of what others would say later; the idea of my sister telling her kids when they got old enough to ask, "You never knew your aunt, but she was..." and then I think how hard that would be to explain to her kids that their aunt didn't bother to stick around to watch them grow up.
I'd say,
'I want to go, into the world above me. leave me be. let me go. don't tell any one, don't let them know.'
'I want to go, into the world above me. leave me be. let me go. don't tell any one, don't let them know.'
It makes me so incredibly sad when I see these kinds of discussions... 2 yrs ago before I went to the place where I almost did it I'd left a note in my room detailing exactly how I was a failure, liar, coward, hypocrite, disappointment, addict, parasite, blah blah you get the idea. And I wrote stuff about things left undone and how sorry I was that I'd never get to do them...So when I went to the top of the building and looked down at the drop, I chickened out, scurried back to my room and tore the note to pieces. Not because I was willing to claw my way up or I'd found a stupid nugget of hope but because I was too chicken to kill myself. But I guess it was my subconscious that didn't let me because it knew the act was pointless when there were people who still loved me... I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now that's what it was...
The fact that people are in this discussion means they still got hope... I mean we live sheltered lives with no idea of how other kids lives are pure hell eg afghanistan, sierra leone, brazil... I never told my mom about my incident but later she told me how her parents used to beat her (she's from chinese descent, last daughter in a line of 8 kids - they were pretty heavy on sexism in her time) and how she's emerged a stronger person... right now i'm regressing back into a despair so I just have to think about what she went through to flog some perspective& sense into myself. it doesn't always have an effect because it's not an experience but hearsay... but it helps, it clears my head for a few days at least. maybe u gotta grab onto something and think of it with love to pull yourself from despair...
oh GOD this sounds like a rambling therapy speech. heh, just my two cents. take it or leave it.
but if I were to kill myself at this age i'd write a plea for them to forgive me because i know now what torture i'd subject my family&friends to for the rest of their lives...but honestly im a hypocrite, because sometimes i want them to feel that pain and isnt that just sad and selfish...
Natasa wrote: "It makes me so incredibly sad when I see these kinds of discussions... 2 yrs ago before I went to the place where I almost did it I'd left a note in my room detailing exactly how I was a failure, l..."*like*
BTW, I wasn't too chiken, I was just a failure at that, among other things.
arent we all... haha right now its 3am and i'm spilling my guts on a goodreads discussion board total strangers. tripping.
AVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Top that, love
LIZ LIZ LIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe, Beat that doofus!
I would say that I'm sorry I never lived up to anyones anything.
AVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate my brothers I can't do anything with them in the room so all I could do is listen to some stupid music
at least you have music...The relationship I had with my parents,brother and sister is BROKEN...
and with it went my music...The music that used to help me cope...
The music that used to stop me from cutting...
If I were to commit suicide (which I won't... Ever.) I would quote my all time favourite song so far "Gloomy Sunday" but it would have to be the Hungarian version.
So mch deeper in the original language. It's a beautiful song and I love it.
Listen to the original... The Hungarian piece is so much more moving.
Seriously, I don't see th point in saying good bye, if you're killing yourself. By saying good bye and explaining why you're killing yourself, you're acknowledging that whom ever reads it matters to you, so why would you destroy that? How could you leave them? Better to just break away....
Actually,it depends...Sometimes hate can win over love.And when it does,who knows what could happen.
Not many will be able to understand what I'm saying...But those who do know what I mean.
I'm not actually sure what you are trying to say but hate can only win over love if you allow it to. But you are absolutely true about who knows what horrible, terrible, evil things will happen. But also in the end love always prevails. God is love and God has already won the battle. With one breath from God, Satan is vanquished. Satan has no more power over your life than what you allow him to have. Nobody is beyond hope, the king of glory is there healing everybody who asks for it.
Point taken but please tell us so we can stop you. Oh and I hope you don't mind but can I use your story in the SITON speech?
Like what happened to you. I wouldn't say anything so people could k ow who you were.
my last words would be lord i am yours you saved me thank you for keeping me you are holy
I have a million therapists, lol. My amazing boyfriend, Steven. My best friend Olivia. My mother. My psychologist Connie. So many other people too!!!!
Rana, destroyer of worlds! wrote: "Just wondering, what would everyones last words be if they were dying, killed themselves or just were about to die?
Hard question...
And who would u say them to?"
I bought a book about this subject after reading Looking for Alaska. Its the last words of many famous people. You might like it.
Looking for Alaska
Hard question...
And who would u say them to?"
I bought a book about this subject after reading Looking for Alaska. Its the last words of many famous people. You might like it.
Looking for Alaska
If I was just about to die, my last words woulf be this:"If I could go back and change what happened in my life... I'm not sure I would. I made mistakes, yeah, but so have you."
Depends on how I die. If it was at the hands of someone, a freak accident, my own fault, underwater, in a play...
