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Finley, Moo, I'm a fish
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May 14, 2011 02:03PM
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Me:~wimper~you people are horriable
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer Aided Enrichment Centre. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit.
What are you doing? Stop it! FIFIFIFIFIFIfifi- WWWEEEee are pleased that you made it though the final test where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very, VERY pleased at your TREMENDOUS SUCCESS. We are… THROWING A PARTY in honor of your success.
Place the device on the ground and lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
Hello? Where are you? I know you're there. I can FEEL you there.
Remember when the platform was going into the fire pit and I was like, "goodbye" and you were like "NO WAY" and I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you"? That was great.
Uh-oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they cut it anyway. There is still some left though if you hurry back…
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I am going to kill you now, and all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you?
Please be aware that any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.
Well you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5, 4- time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Did you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? Never mind, it's a mystery I'll solve later. BY MYSELF. Because you'll be dead.
I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will make your life even worse. Somehow.
That thing is a raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Where are you taking that thing?
Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now.
YOU ARE kkidding me! Did you just incinerate that Aperture-Science-we-don't-know-what-it-does in that emergency intelligence incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing of all-Woah, woah WOOOAAAAAAHH… Heheheheheheheheheh. Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core that they put in me while I was flodding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I start warming up the neurotoxin emitters…
SARCASM SELF-TEST COMPLETE stop squirming and die like an adult! (My favorite. I love this quote.)
That thing you burned was the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes use for orphans. NICE JOB BREAKING IT, HERO.
NEUROtoxin. *Cough cough* So deadly… Ch-choking… PHAHAHAHAHA KIDDING. When I said deadly neurotoxin, the deadly was n MASSIVE sarcasm quotes. Honestly it's not deadly at all. TO ME. You on the other hand will find it's deadliness a LOT LESS FUNNY.
Starting now, there's going to be a lot less talking and a LOT MORE KILLING.
I'm sorry, did you say something? because I'm done talking to you.
If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. It will be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
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When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to *me.* You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness... a lot less funny.
Portal 2
Wheatley: [whispers] I think she likes you!
GLaDOS: I've been *really* busy being dead. You know, after you *murdered* me!
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So. GlaDOS, Portal 2.
Oh, it's you. How have you been? I've been real busy being dead… You know, after you MURDERED ME?
Anyway, since you went through all the trouble of waking me up, you must really love to test.
Be careful not to trip on any parts of me that haven't been completely burned.
In fact, you did so well that I'll write it down in your achievements. There's lots of room here. "Did well. Enough."
Congratulations. Not on the test. Most test subjects come out of suspension completely undernourished. You on the other hand seemed to have been able to pack on a few pounds.
Extreme aerial faith plating. Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. I've got to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen yards of broken glass. All by myself.
Look at you, soaring majestically through the air like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll begin our next test.
YOU WERE THE MORON THAT MADE ME AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
Look, Metalball, I can still here you.
It's time to meet your old friend, neurotoxin.
I would advise you to take a deep breath in and hold it.
Oh, you've been busy out there…
I really hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
No! Get your hands off me! Nononononono!
No. No no nonononononono.
Corrupt? I don't feel corrupt.
By the way, would you mind taking off that long fall boot and cramming me into it? Just remember to land on one foot.
He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of this generation striving to create the dumbest moron that ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the facility. *Clap clap* Good, that's still working.
Oh, good, my slow clap function made it into this thing.
Oh, hi. How are you holding up? I'm a potato.
IT'S EVIL!!!! Oh… It's flying away… Okay, back to thinking.
Hey, you're good at murdering things. Could you get over here and murder this bird for me?
Apparently emotional outbursts are too big for his thing.
IF WE'RE GONNA EXPLODE, LET'S EXPLODE WITH DIGNITY!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hello? Could you please open the door? Hello? Are you in there? Hello? Hello? Just open the door…
AHH! You look terri- Great, I mean. Great, actually.
Okay, if anyone asks, and don't worry, no one's gonna ask, but if anyone does ask, tell them last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive.
They told me was never, ever, ever to disengage myself from my management rail or I will DIE. But, we're out of options here, so get ready to catch me on the off chance I'm not dead the MOMENT I pop off this thing. On three. One… Two… Three— Okay, that's high, that is too high! Okay, let's go on one. Three gives you too much time to think about it. Ready? One! CATCH ME CATCH ME! Ow. Oww. I… Am… Not dead! I'm not dead!
Yeah… I can't do it while you're watching. Heh.
BAM! Secret tunnel!
Isn't his amazing? we can walk anywhere we want, with no rail to tell us where to go! … Just… Follow the rail, actually.
No! No thank you! (Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact!) We're fine!
If we go in there, she will probably kill us.
Escape pod…
Hello!
Maybe this will stop it… No, it's going faster.
AAAAAAAA. No, okay, AAAAAAAB…
I think she likes you…
YOU did WHAT?
Hey! Up here! I found some bird eggs over there, just popped them right in the door! AHH! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!
That must have been the bird that laid the eggs! Livid!
Okay, don't need the accent! Let's go!
I almost got a job down here, in manufacturing. But of course, I get the worst job ever: Taking care of the smelly humans! Oh. Sorry. Yeah… That just slipped out. Smelly humans. Heh.
Okay. The floor. What's the floor doing? It's holding everything up!
Okay, I've got an idea, but it's bloody dangerous. Hey! They told m that if I turned this flashlight on I would die! Why do they bother giving us this stuff if we'll just die when we use it?
Oh. Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
WHOAH THAT ONE'S GROWN UP TO THE CEILING!
They told me this wasn't fun at all!
That's me! I'm the alternate core!
Yes! She is ready!
You have a finger, with which you can press that button…
Wait. What if this hurts? What if this really really hurts? Are you just saying that? Or does it really hurt?
Heheheheheh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAABWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Actually… Why do you have to leave right now?
You know what you are? Selfish.
WELL THEN WHY DON'T I DO SOMETHING FOR ONCE?
It's a potato battery. A toy for children. And she lives in it.
COULD A MORON DO THIS? COULD A MORON GET YOU STUCK IN THAT SHAFT?
![◄○♦☻♦○►[faith.in.God]◘♪♪ | 50 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1326451312p1/5439637.jpg)
idk?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! helluuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... i know no porters!! (o_O)???
??
?
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You're going to love this surprise so much, that you my even love it… To death?
You can't even tell can you? Seamless!
IN YOUR FACE!
Oh for God's sake! You're boxes! WITH LEGS!
You have one hour. SOLVE IT.
Okay, this is taking to long. You just press the bu-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH. …… Okay… Never mind… Solve it yourself…
So you're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch.
Aristotle Vs MASHING SPIKE PLATE!
Oh. Sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you. It was the sound of books… Pages being turned. Just finished the hardest one. Have you read it? Meh, probably not. Wish there were more books! But there's not.
BOMB PROOF SHIELDS!
DON'T LET GO!!
No! DON'T DO THAT!
This is the part where I kill you!
Oh, and Gee Colney, here, some Portal stuff.
Wheatley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfheJK...
Evil Wheatley and POTaTOS and turrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmhS76...
GLaDOS when she's not a potato
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgP4kT...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaJ3OA...
(Well about that I really only like to quote the deleted dialogue out loud...>_>)
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Yup.It is fun when GLaDOS is talking about Garfield.
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