anything group!!** discussion
Jokes
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newest »
What did Achmed sing for Christmas?
Jingle Bombs
Jingle Bombs
What did the reader of this say?AWW! BAD JOKE!
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? DWAYNE THE TUB! I'M DWOWNING!
... um... ha?... How about this?:
Me: Knock-Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Interupting cow.
You: Interupting cow, wh-
Me: MOOOOOOOO!
Me: Knock-Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Interupting cow.
You: Interupting cow, wh-
Me: MOOOOOOOO!
OR...
What kind of phone does the ocean have???
A SHELL-phone
What kind of phone does the ocean have???
A SHELL-phone
Those were funny.
Really lame joke:
In high school, drama's a class and a life style!
Really lame joke:
In high school, drama's a class and a life style!
What did the lamb say after his mommy accidentally stepped into a mud puddle??
-Ewe...
-Ewe...
what did the DNA say to the other DNA??
-Do these GENES make me look fat?
-Do these GENES make me look fat?
Why is Piglet always so stinky?
-Because he plays with Poo...
-Because he plays with Poo...
what do jellyfish eat
peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches
peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches
What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been Framed.
Kay this is dumb blond joke, apologies to all of those blonds out there. Just imagine it's a brunette and bear with me.
#1
Dumb blond gets a new cell phone for christmas from her boyfriend, next morning he calls "How's the phone honey?" He asks.
"Great, but how in the world did you know where to call me?"
#2
Dumb blond gets real sick of all the dumb blond jokes so she dyes her hair brown. While driving down a road she comes across a shepherd with a flock of sheep. She stops and walks over to him, thinking that the sheep are sooo adorable. After talking for a while he makes a deal that if she can guess the correct amount of sheep there are then she can have one. "A hundred and seven." she guesses. Amazed that she was able to get it right the shepherd awards her, letting her pick the sheep. Walking over the dumb blond picks up a sheep and puts it in her car. As she's getting into the front seat the shepherd walks up to her and says, "If I guess your real hair color can I have my dog back?"
#3
Dumb blond walks into a shoe store and sees these really cute alligator boots but they're really expensive. "This is ridiculous, I won't pay 200$ just for these boots! It's an outrage." She complains to the manager. "If you really don't want to pay for them then go get some somewhere else!" The shopkeeper snaps. The blond stomps her foot and says "Fine! I will!" And marches out of the store.
Later that night as the shopkeeper is driving home he sees the same dumb blond with a shotgun pointed at an alligator. Curious to see what the lady was doing he pulls over and watches. Shooting the alligator dead the dumb blond flips it over and yells. "Darn it! This one doesn't have any boots either!"
Alright, now this is to prove that blonds aren't stupid.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
I've been Framed.
Kay this is dumb blond joke, apologies to all of those blonds out there. Just imagine it's a brunette and bear with me.
#1
Dumb blond gets a new cell phone for christmas from her boyfriend, next morning he calls "How's the phone honey?" He asks.
"Great, but how in the world did you know where to call me?"
#2
Dumb blond gets real sick of all the dumb blond jokes so she dyes her hair brown. While driving down a road she comes across a shepherd with a flock of sheep. She stops and walks over to him, thinking that the sheep are sooo adorable. After talking for a while he makes a deal that if she can guess the correct amount of sheep there are then she can have one. "A hundred and seven." she guesses. Amazed that she was able to get it right the shepherd awards her, letting her pick the sheep. Walking over the dumb blond picks up a sheep and puts it in her car. As she's getting into the front seat the shepherd walks up to her and says, "If I guess your real hair color can I have my dog back?"
#3
Dumb blond walks into a shoe store and sees these really cute alligator boots but they're really expensive. "This is ridiculous, I won't pay 200$ just for these boots! It's an outrage." She complains to the manager. "If you really don't want to pay for them then go get some somewhere else!" The shopkeeper snaps. The blond stomps her foot and says "Fine! I will!" And marches out of the store.
Later that night as the shopkeeper is driving home he sees the same dumb blond with a shotgun pointed at an alligator. Curious to see what the lady was doing he pulls over and watches. Shooting the alligator dead the dumb blond flips it over and yells. "Darn it! This one doesn't have any boots either!"
Alright, now this is to prove that blonds aren't stupid.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN"