JoeXOTic

“That is why I need someone to destroy the Ender Dragon,” he told them. “It has been terrorizing the endermen for countless years, and I want their suffering to stop. You are the first beings who have reached the End since the portals were closed, and by monitoring your body language, I suspect that you are all warriors. So, will you do this task for me? Will you defeat the Ender Dragon and set the endermen free?” The others all looked at Dave. “No,” said Dave. “We won’t.” CHAPTER FIVE Carl, Spidroth and Alex looked at Dave with confused expressions. “Did you say no when you meant to say yes?” Alex asked him. “I sometimes get words mixed up as well. Once back in New Diamond City, I got the word toilet mixed up with bedroom and… Well, let’s just say things got a bit messy. Professor Quigley wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 40: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Carl climbed up onto the table and waddled across to the bowl. He picked a chorus fruit up in his mouth and chomped it down in a couple of bites. As soon as he finished eating the fruit, he teleported to the far side of the room. “What was that?” said Carl, looking shocked. “Eating chorus fruit can cause mild teleportation,” said the enderman with red eyes. “Well, at least they taste all right,” said Carl. “Although, I don’t suppose you have any baked potatoes?” “Unfortunately, our potato crop failed over fifteen thousand years ago,” said the red-eyed enderman. “Just my luck,” sighed Carl. “Fifteen thousand years too late.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 40: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“If we all die, you’re going to have to organize our funerals when you respawn, Alex,” said Carl. “At my funeral, I want hundreds of potatoes to be baked on a huge bonfire, so they can come with me to the afterlife.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 36: Unofficial Minecraft Books

“Dave heard BURRing. He turned and saw that the bouldering zombies had begun to clamber through the holes in the wall that the fire had created and climb down the ladder from the roof. Before long, the train was surrounded by gray zombies, trying to break in and get them. “We’re definitely gonna die now,” sighed Carl. “I might as well eat my final baked potatoes. At least I’ll die happy then. Well, as happy as someone can be while they’re being eaten alive by zombies.” “I thought you said this train drove itself?” Spidroth said to Dave. “I thought it did,” said Dave, starting to panic. Now that they were in the passenger car, there was no way of getting back to the train car without leaving the car and going through all the zombies. Then, just as Dave was starting to lose all hope, the train began to rumble, the redstone lights above them switching on, and a friendly robotic voice coming out of a speaker. “Hello, theme park visitors!” said the voice. “Are we all ready for a wonderful vacation?” “JUST GET THIS TRAIN MOVING, FOOL!” Spidroth bellowed.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 36: Unofficial Minecraft Books