JoeXOTic

“Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colours as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. The guy reeked like mouldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.”
― Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

“You see my farts. . .they’re really, really, really bad. Like, school cafeteria mystery-meat bad. They smell a lot like gunpowder. Sometimes I can’t help it, and I just fart without warning.”
― Pixel Kid, Diary of a Minecraft Creeper, Book 1: Creeper Life

“Good gravy,” gasped Porkins, “it’s not a pig; it’s a creeper-pig!” “A creepig?” suggested Carl.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Dave turned and headed back down the train track, but when he got outside, his mouth dropped open in shock. Surrounding the station were hundreds and hundreds of white zombies, all staggering towards the building. “Oh great,” sighed Carl, looking out at the endless zombies. “Zombies. Why does it always have to be zombies?” “To be fair, old bean, it’s not always zombies,” said Porkins. “Ok, then why does it sometimes have to be zombies?” said Carl. “I’d rather it was never zombies at all.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 36: Unofficial Minecraft Books