JoeXOTic

“You see my farts. . .they’re really, really, really bad. Like, school cafeteria mystery-meat bad. They smell a lot like gunpowder. Sometimes I can’t help it, and I just fart without warning.”
― Pixel Kid, Diary of a Minecraft Creeper, Book 1: Creeper Life

“I thought we were dead for sure,” said Biff. “I’ve had to spend the last couple of hours listening to Spidroth rant and rave about how stupid and foolish everyone is. It’s been horrible.” “Shut up you, fool.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Keep the change,” she said happily. “But you haven’t given me enough money,” said the bartender. “That’s okay,” said McAlex. “You can keep the change.” “But there is no change,” said the bartender. “So, how can I keep it?”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Dave turned and headed back down the train track, but when he got outside, his mouth dropped open in shock. Surrounding the station were hundreds and hundreds of white zombies, all staggering towards the building. “Oh great,” sighed Carl, looking out at the endless zombies. “Zombies. Why does it always have to be zombies?” “To be fair, old bean, it’s not always zombies,” said Porkins. “Ok, then why does it sometimes have to be zombies?” said Carl. “I’d rather it was never zombies at all.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 36: Unofficial Minecraft Books