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“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
― David Sedaris

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
― Woody Allen

“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”
― Woody Allen, Hannah and Her Sisters

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
― Oscar Wilde