David Isecke

“And sadly, fairytale kingdoms work poorly. It’s not just that they’re fairytales and thus not terribly real; we’ve seen stranger and more mythical attempts at leadership in our time. The problem is that Fairytales attract Good Faeries, and thus Bad Faeries; Evil Queens; Huntsmen, and, of course, The Grand Vizier. And all of those tend to lead to ruination.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“And lo, at the moment when she needed it most, she found the force within her. She didn't find it in time to avoid having her head bitten off, but she sure did die enlightened.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“I don't make monsters.
Definitions make monsters.
You make definitions.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord