Whitney Archibald

“[When asked to use 'horticulture' in a sentence:] You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

“If we were to judge nature by its common sense or likelihood, we wouldn't believe the world existed. In nature, improbabilities are the one stock in trade. The whole creation is one lunatic fringe....No claims of any and all revelations could be so far-fetched as a single giraffe.”
― Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

“Living this long's not as wonderful as people think. I mean, you get the same amount of youth as everyone else, but a great big extra helping of being very old and deaf and creaky.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith

“Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky