Jillian Lynch

“Instead of expressing rage and sadness over a loss, the child accepts the blame for being rejected, and from that point on, relentlessly accuses him or herself of being unworthy of love from anyone. “No longer is the feeling of being loved the sole prerequisite for well-being, but the feeling of having done the right thing is now necessary.” (Fenichel, 1945, p. 388) Feelings of worthlessness, self-accusatory thoughts, and the erratic mood swings that characterize certain types of depressive states are controlled by an internal negative thought process or inner dialogue, the voice.”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses

“The great source of terror in infancy is solitude. William James (1890)”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses

“Furthermore, the image of parental strength and goodness always occurs in close conjunction with the development of a negative image of self. Patients who hate and blame themselves or perceive themselves as basically unlovable are defending and idealizing their parents.”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses

“The child must conceptualize him or herself as bad or unlovable in order to defend against the realization that the parents are inadequate. Recognition of real faults in the parent would destroy the bond, or the imagined connection, and the feeling of imagined self-sufficiency.”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses