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Natalie Slayton

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Lisa Firestone

32 books | 50 friends

Robert W. Firestone

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PsycAlive

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Psychology, Self Help

Member Since

January 2014

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https://www.goodreads.com/robertfirestone

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Robert W. Firestone's Blog

Love—kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship—is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them.

One man felt a flash of anger at his wife when she said she was worried about Read more of this blog post »

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Published on January 24, 2014 11:06 • Tags: glendon, hate, love, psycalive, psychology, relationships, robert-firestone, self-help

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Robert W. Firestone’s books

Average rating: 4.05 · 1,141 ratings · 104 reviews · 24 distinct works • Similar authors

	The Fantasy Bond : Structure of Psychological Defenses by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), R.D. Laing (Foreword) 4.24 avg rating — 276 ratings — published 1985 — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Fear of Intimacy by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett 4.23 avg rating — 177 ratings — published 1999 — 12 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: A Revolutionary Program to Counter Negative Thoughts and Live Free from Imagined Limitations by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Lisa Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett 3.74 avg rating — 188 ratings — published 2002 — 14 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice: True Stories of Therapy and Transformation by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Daniel J. Siegel (Goodreads Author) (Foreword) 3.31 avg rating — 181 ratings — published 2016 — 8 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life 4.43 avg rating — 58 ratings — published 1989 — 6 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	The Self Under Siege by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Lisa Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett 4.43 avg rating — 42 ratings — published 2012 — 11 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Beyond Death Anxiety: Achieving Life-Affirming Death Awareness by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett 4.26 avg rating — 27 ratings — published 2009 — 5 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Sex And Love In Intimate Relationships by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett, Lisa Firestone (Goodreads Author) 4.16 avg rating — 19 ratings — published 2005 — 6 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy by Robert W. Firestone (Goodreads Author), Lisa Firestone (Goodreads Author), Joyce Catlett 4.41 avg rating — 17 ratings — published 2003 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Voice Therapy: A Psychotherapeutic Approach to Self-Destructive Behavior 4.43 avg rating — 14 ratings — published 1988 — 7 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

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Robert is Currently Reading

Robert Firestone is currently reading

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

by Hendrik Groen

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Dec 30, 2025 06:24PM

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Escape from Freedom

by Erich Fromm

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Dec 29, 2025 12:16PM

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The Economic Consequences of the Peace

by John Maynard Keynes

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Mar 14, 2025 12:21PM

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Robert Firestone is currently reading The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old by Hendrik Groen	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Dec 30, 2025 06:24PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old by Hendrik Groen. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old by Hendrik Groen <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Robert Firestone is currently reading Escape from Freedom by Erich Fromm	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Dec 29, 2025 12:16PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Escape from Freedom by Erich Fromm. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Escape from Freedom by Erich Fromm <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Robert Firestone is currently reading The Economic Consequences of the Peace by John Maynard Keynes	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Mar 14, 2025 12:21PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of The Economic Consequences of the Peace by John Maynard Keynes. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — The Economic Consequences of the Peace by John Maynard Keynes <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Robert Firestone is currently reading Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Jan 19, 2025 06:49PM · like · preview book See a Problem? We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak. Problem: Details (if other): Thanks for telling us about the problem. Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak <iframe sandbox id="wrongBookKindlePreviewScreen">
Robert Firestone is currently reading Outlander (Outlander, #1) by Diana Gabaldon (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Robert Firestone is currently reading For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence by Alice Miller	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Robert Firestone is currently reading Journey To Ixtlan (The Teachings of Don Juan Book 3) by Carlos Castaneda	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Robert Firestone finished reading Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Robert Firestone is currently reading Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson (Goodreads Author)	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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Robert Firestone is currently reading Chevengur by Andrey Platonov	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
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More of Robert's books…

Quotes by Robert W. Firestone (?)

“The purpose of the false self is to defend against pain - not deal with reality”
― Robert W. Firestone

tags: child-abuse, defences, healing, psychology, self-knowledge, trauma, unconscious

15 likes

“That is why in adult life, people generally tend to relive rather than live, that is, to repeat the patterns of the past and defend the primary fantasy in the defiance, and avoid the real gamble or real adventure of taking a chance on something new. They are afraid that if they really cry out, if they really ask, if they really scream for help, that it won't come, and they'll be in the same panicky frightened state they were in when they were little. ”
― Robert W. Firestone

tags: fear

15 likes

“people, both professionals in the field and lay people, are not fully aware of the extent to which human beings are directed and controlled by primal feelings. They underestimate the pain that is aroused by positive experiences in life. They cannot understand a person’s resistance to positive or corrective experiences and the negative reactions caused by genuine caring or concern. They do not recognize the fact that when people are responded to in a new, more positive way, it severs their bonds and cuts them off from their past. It makes them aware objectively that they were not loved or treated respectfully, that they were not listened to or responded to realistically or compassionately when they were young.”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses

10 likes

See all Robert W. Firestone's quotes »

Robert’s Quotes

tags: fear

15 likes

“In general, an ideal partner is (a) open and nondefensive, (b) honest and nonduplicitous, (c) affectionate and easy-going, (d) mentally and physically healthy, (e) independent and successful in his or her chosen career or lifestyle, and (f) aware of a meaningful existence that includes humanitarian values.”
― Robert W. Firestone

10 likes

“The purpose of the false self is to defend against pain - not deal with reality”
― Robert W. Firestone

tags: child-abuse, defences, healing, psychology, self-knowledge, trauma, unconscious

15 likes

“Differentiating from parental introjects and psychological defences based on the emotional pain of childhood is essential not only for neurotic or seriously disturbed individuals; it is a central developmental issue in every person’s life.”
― Lisa Firestone, The Self Under Siege

tags: differentiation, psychological-defence, self-growth-and-improvement, self-help

3 likes

“People must come to the understanding that they do not have a fixed identity. They have the power to identify and alter features of their personalities that they find negative or unpleasant.”
― Lisa Firestone, The Self Under Siege