

“Those who love us understand us and are available to us with an attention, appreciation, acceptance, and affection we can feel. They make room for us to be who we are.”
― How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
― How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

“How can we overcome our self-doubt? Through a simple practice: act lovingly. Lovability is actually the other side of the coin of loving. People who believe they are lovable are people who love. People who love are more likely to be loved. This involves letting go of ego, but it also requires a unique frame of mind: When any conflict or issue arises between ourselves and someone else, we ask not how to win but how to summon up a loving intent and how to act on it. Our immediate question is “How can I be as loving as possible in this circumstance?” When we show the five A’s to others, they feel loved and at the same time see us as lovable. To shift our focus from concern for personal victory or vindication to an attempt to be more loving brings us bliss, and that bliss is the best context for letting go of ego and releasing the five A’s.”
― How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
― How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

“You Are Already Whole We believe that the fundamental sexual unit is one person; adding more people to that unit may be intimate, fun, and companionable but does not complete anybody. The only thing in this world that you can control is yourself—your own reactions, desires, and behaviors. Thus, a fundamental step in ethical sluthood is to bring your locus of control into yourself, to recognize the difference between what is yours to control and what belongs to other people. With practice, you can become able to complete yourself—that’s why we call this “integrity.”
― The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
― The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
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