san

“am still waiting to be hit by some universe-halting love that will turn me inside out and remove all the rotting parts of me.”
― Leila Mottley, Nightcrawling

“In the end,
we have only ever seen
our faces in
reflections and pictures.
Our true beauty is
a secret to us
and maybe that's why we
are the last to believe in it.

- mirror, mirror, on the wall"

From page 48”
― Jennae Cecelia, I Am More Than a Daydream

“If you are not the most interesting person you know, then you're doing it wrong.”
― Nikki St. Crowe, The Never King

“GRIEF FEELS LIKE THIS:
an okay day and a good day and an okay day
then a bad.
Bad that follow and empties you.
Bad like a sinkhole.

It feels like
an unrelenting urge to lay your head down on the table, wherever you are, whomever you are with.

It feels like
a night of vivid dreams, and when you wake, all day you hold one dream close
because in it
everything was back to how it once was.

It feels like
you've fallen overboard.
You are swimming to get back, but the boat moves steadily away. You can see the lights; you can hear the laughter and music on the decks.
You try to follow. The boat moves away.

It feels like
missing.
You miss her. You miss him. You miss belonging. You miss the bench by the fence. You miss the walk from the lockers. You miss the talks by the pool, in the hammock, at night, on the phone, the screen winking blue light. You miss the stories on the bed, by the window, beside the desk, on the dunes. You miss his voice. You miss her smile.
You miss and miss and miss and miss.
And all you want to do is walk into a forest and cover yourself with leaves.”
― Helena Fox