Kat

“Unhealthy families discourage individual expression. Everyone must conform to the thoughts and actions of the toxic parents. They promote fusion, a blurring of personal boundaries, a welding together of family members. On an unconscious level, it is hard for family members to know where one ends and another begins. In their efforts to be close, they often suffocate one another’s individuality.”
― Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

“The Man of Power is one who presides—
By persuasion. He uses no demeaning words or behavior, does not manipulate others, appeals to the best in everyone, and respects the dignity and
agency of all humankind—men, women, boys, and girls.
By long-suffering. He waits when necessary and listens to the humblest or youngest person. He is tolerant of the ideas of others and avoids quick judgments and anger.
By gentleness. He uses a smile more often than a frown. He is not gruff or loud or frightening; he does not discipline in anger.
By meekness. He is not puffed up, does not dominate conversations, and is willing to conform his will to the will of God.
By love unfeigned. He does not pretend. He is sincere, giving honest love without reservation even when others are unlovable.
By kindness. He practices courtesy and thoughtfulness in little things as well as in the more obvious things. By pure knowledge. He avoids half-truths and seeks to be empathetic.
Without hypocrisy. He practices the principles he teaches. He knows he is not always right and is willing to admit his mistakes and say ‘I’m sorry.'
Without guile. He is not sly or crafty in his dealings with others, but is honest and authentic when describing his feelings.”
― H. Burke Peterson

“I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. And killing time is one of my specialities.”
― Haruki Murakami, After Dark

“Perfectionist parents seem to operate under the illusion that if they can just get their children to be perfect, they will be a perfect family. They put the burden of stability on the child to avoid facing the fact that they, as parents, cannot provide it. The child fails and becomes the scapegoat for family problems. Once again, the child is saddled with the blame.”
― Susan Forward Ph.D, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life