Michael Paez

“Ender balls,”
― Dennis Diamond, Zombie Boy & I - Book 4 (An Unofficial Minecraft Book): Zombie Boy & I Collection

“What species are you? Human. (Is this question a reference to something I don’t know about?)”
― Dr. Block, Diary of a Surfer Villager, Book 27

“Angrily, she yanked it out of her hair, and threw it hard across the cavern. Porker’s eyes went wide at the sight of the carrot on a stick flying through the air. His opportunity had come! He leapt like a pig has never leapt before— “Whoa there!” cried Steve, jumping up just in time to grab the carrot on a stick. A moment later, and it would have clattered to the ground; and a moment after that, Porker would be chomping happily away. “Nice try, Porker,” said Steve, holding the carrot just out of reach again. “But not today, my friend.” Sounding a bit irate, he said, “Be careful, will you, Alex? This is my last carrot. If Porker gets his teeth around this, I’ll have to—” “Walk on your own two legs for once?” she finished for him with a snide look. Steve narrowed his eyes. “Steal a new carrot from a village somewhere.” Collin’s eyes bulged. “Steal? You mean trade, surely?” “Of course I don’t,” said Steve. “Why would I trade with villagers when their stuff is just sitting right there for taking?” “Because it’s the right thing to do,” said Alex. “I know nicking it is the right thing to do,” said Steve. “That’s why I do it.”
― Splendiferous Steve, The Quest for the Obsidian Pickaxe 4: Going Batty