Carolyn Paddock

“When we are not feeling properly or sufficiently recognized, we begin to wonder if we are even worthy of recognition. If we were worthy, people would surely see that and recognize us accordingly. Wouldn't they? Isn't that how it is supposed to work? Several things happen from this scenario. We judge ourselves negatively because we feel that others are judging us or not noticing us at all (which is almost as bad). We work harder, usually doing more, and we give more of ourselves trying to earn the recognition and praise of others. This burns us out and brings us the wrong recognition, if any. All of which leads to more lack of self-value, more hard work, more burnout, and more pretending to be who we are not, just to please others and get the recognition we crave. Then, we feel insecure, confused, exhausted, and broken, and we look to the self-help world for answers because we sure need the help. We read the books, take the courses, attend the workshops, go on expensive retreats—whatever promises to give us answers. We will do anything that can help us fix whatever is wrong with us. We think we know what is wrong: We are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, hardworking enough, energetic enough, sustainable enough, worthy enough, valuable enough, loved enough, lovable enough, or loving enough. But those are NOT what is wrong, so fixing those will never fix the problem anyway. We are simply not getting the right kind of recognition.”
― Evelyn Levenson, Becoming an Empowered Projector: Thrive with Wisdom and Guidance from Human Design