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“You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?"
(Mace to Smitty)”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“But Sissy had a way of bringing out the "fun" side of anybody if she'd a mind to. To quote Janie Mae, "Sissy came out of my womb with her middle finger raised.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Are you afraid?" Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable.
"No. But I have incredible luck with dice and I am ruthless. You will lose, gentlemen. I will destroy your lands, take your women, ravish your men, and make your children my slave labor. I will own every castle, house, and farm that is within my reach. I won't be satisfied until I own all of it and you. I will destroy you all, gentlemen, and, to be quite blunt, I don't think you can handle it."
Van covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he didn't dare look at his sister. Verner stepped back, motioning to the table. "Now I must insist."
"As you wish." Irene sighed and stood. She glanced at Van and gave him a quick wink before turning back to his uncle. "I do hope you're a 'sobber,' Mr. Van Holtz. Nothing I love more than the lamenting of the men I annihilate."

"I can't believe you made him cry."
"I did not. He just teared up a little."
"Yeah. I think it was when you told him, 'I now control your ports and own your manhood.'"
"His wife laughed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, When He Was Bad

“Okay. Let's see what we've got." He lifted up her foot and said, "Well, what we've got here is a freakin' boat."

Really?" She slammed her heel against the side of his face, snapping his head to one side. "How big are they now, Mitch?"

Rubbing the abused side of his face, "Dainty little elf feet?"

"Exactly.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

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