Smoh

“When children are rude or even downright defiant, parents have two choices: we can view the behavior through the lens of disrespect for us (“My child does not respect me!”) or through the lens of emotion dysregulation for them (“My child is having a hard time right now”). It’s tempting to default to that first lens—it’s the easier, often more ingrained route. But think about yourself—why are you rude to people sometimes? Why would you talk back to or disobey your boss? I come up with the same reason, every time: I feel misunderstood. I am looking to feel seen and don’t. I feel frustrated that someone else isn’t really hearing me, and my relationship with that person isn’t as strong as it could be in that moment. Knowing what would make me act out helps guide my approach to rudeness or defiance in kids.”
― Becky Kennedy, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be