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“By listening first rather than jumping in prematurely to explain or reassure in a way that missed the point, the clinician was able to get on the mother’s wavelength so they could connect on a deeper level. And having experienced being experienced, the mother will hopefully be able to extend a similar gift to her child. It’s a model for how we could all listen better.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
“Studies show that children and adults who are securely attached tend to be more curious and open to new information
than people who are not. It’s another tenet of attachment theory that if you have someone in your life who listens to you and who you feel connected to, then the safer you feel stepping out in the world and interacting with others. You know you will be okay if you hear something or find out things that upset you because you have someone, somewhere, you can confide in and
who will relieve your distress. It’s called having a secure base, and it’s a bulwark against loneliness.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
than people who are not. It’s another tenet of attachment theory that if you have someone in your life who listens to you and who you feel connected to, then the safer you feel stepping out in the world and interacting with others. You know you will be okay if you hear something or find out things that upset you because you have someone, somewhere, you can confide in and
who will relieve your distress. It’s called having a secure base, and it’s a bulwark against loneliness.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
“The truth is, we only become secure in our convictions by allowing them to be challenged. Confident people don’t get riled by opinions different from their own, nor do they spew bile online by way of refutation. Secure people don’t decide others are irredeemably stupid or malicious without knowing who they are as individuals.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
“during many conversations, you get just 7 percent of the meaning from the actual words, which could be typed.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
“The more you listen to someone, such as a close friend or a family member, and the more that person listens to you, the more likely you two will be of like minds.”
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
― You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
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Cheri’s 2025 Year in Books
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