Harsha

“So what are you scared of?' he asks me at our last appointment. 'I mean really scared of.'

I try to think about it. 'I'm scared that if I can't even handle this right now, how will I be able to handle bigger things in the future?'

He nods. He scrapes his moustache against his thumbs. 'Bigger things in the future. What's bigger than this? Your mother dies suddenly. It echoes her previous abandonment of you thus making her death a double whammy. Your father proved to be incapable of being your father. You owe money to several large corporations who will squeeze you indefinitely. You spent six years writing a novel that may or may not get published. You got fired from your job. You say you want a family of your own but there doesn't seem to be a man in your life, and you may have fertility problems. I don't know, my friend. This is not nothing.'

Of all his strange responses, this is the one that helps me the most. This is not nothing.”
― Lily King, Writers & Lovers

“They make my chest tight and full and help me believe that things will be all right again, that I will pass through this time as I have passed through other times, that the vast and threatening blank ahead of me is a mere specter, that life is lighter and more playful than I'm giving it credit for. But right on the heels of that feeling, that suspicion that is all not yet lost, comes the urge to tell my mother, tell her that I am okay today, that I have felt something close to happiness, that I might still be capable of feeling happy. She will want to know that. But I can't tell her. That's the wall I always slam into on a good morning like this.”
― Lily King, Writers & Lovers

“There’s a particular feeling in your body when something goes right after a long time of things going wrong. It feels warm and sweet and loose. For a moment all my bees have turned to honey.”
― Lily King, Writers & Lovers

“Nearly every guy I've dated believed they should already be famous, believed that greatness was their destiny and they were already behind schedule. An early moment of intimacy often involved a confession of this sort: a childhood vision, teacher's prophecy, a genius IQ. At first, with my boyfriend in college, I believed it, too. Later, I thought I was just choosing delusional men. Now I understand it's how boys are raised to think, how they are lured into adulthood. I've met ambitious women, driven women, but no woman has ever told me that greatness was her destiny.”
― Lily King, Writers & Lovers