Mikey

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“when the boogie man goes to sleep he checks his closet for me”
― Chuck Norris, The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book: 101 of Chuck's Favorite Facts and Stories

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein