Bryan

“THIRD-PARTY INVESTIGATION. Recent studies on spiritual abuse have highlighted multiple problems with the current system, but one of the most significant is the way abuse allegations are “investigated.” Typically, such investigations are done in-house, often by friends or colleagues of the abusive pastor and by people who have no real training on how to identify abuse. Of course, many of these in-house investigations end up vindicating the abusive pastor. Again, this is precisely what happened with Bill Hybels, Steve Timmis, and James MacDonald. The initial “investigation” in each of these cases supposedly exonerated these leaders. It was only later, upon closer scrutiny, that the abuse was recognized.”
― Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church

“GENUINE TRANSPARENCY. Spiritual abuse grows and thrives in church cultures that emphasize silence, secrecy, and self-protection. In contrast, churches that operate with openness and transparency build a culture that resists abuse. Here are a few ways to be more transparent: • It might surprise you that in many denominations, the elders meeting is public and open to any church member. They are free to come and observe. Some churches even allow for questions. In certain circumstances that require confidentiality, an elder meeting might need to go to “executive session.” But in most cases, church business is open business. It would be wise for churches to advertise the openness of their elder meetings and even encourage members to come. Holding the elders meeting in a larger venue like the church sanctuary or chapel is one way to encourage more people to attend. Churches might be surprised how differently their elders operate (in a good way) once other people are in the room watching them.”
― Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church

“POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER. PTSD is not uncommon in cases of spiritual abuse. After fearful, dangerous, or traumatic events, people often suffer for months (even years) with the aftereffects of those events, including upsetting memories, fear, sadness, nervousness, and bursts of anxiety.6 In short, “people who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.”7 For spiritual abuse survivors, experiences that remind them of their abusive pastor or church situation usually trigger these effects. These triggers could be something as simple as going to church, hearing a sermon, or seeing individuals from their former church. A complicating factor in spiritual abuse cases is that the abuse is perpetrated by an institution or a person the victim knew and trusted, known as “institutional betrayal.”8 Studies have shown that abuse within a trusted relationship is significantly more traumatic than abuse by a stranger. And there is a natural trust that is fostered between a church member and their pastor (and the larger leadership body). Smith and Freyd show that such betrayal has a substantial emotional impact: “Betrayal trauma is associated with higher rates of a host of outcomes, including posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociation, anxiety, [and] depression.”
― Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church

“Those affected by spiritual abuse feel much as Frodo did. Though they try to put their old life back together, they realize things will never be the same. Some wounds go too deep. Often their one consolation, like Frodo, is that their courage to speak may have protected and saved others. Though they may never experience the beauty of church again in the same way, perhaps their actions have preserved the church so others can. Unfortunately, some churches have minimized the problem, unaware of how deep these wounds run, sometimes even insisting that victims should just “get over it” and move on with their lives. The purpose of this chapter is to push back against this misconception by exploring these wounds of spiritual abuse more fully. If churches are to be motivated to act—to proactively guard against abusive pastors—they have to come face-to-face with the devastating effects of spiritual abuse.”
― Michael J. Kruger, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church