Shadib

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Shadib is Currently Reading

Shadib is currently reading

The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

by Olivia Laing (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: currently-reading

Reading for the 3rd time

read in December 2018

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Shadib said: " Rereading of The Lonely City by Olivia Laing (first back in 2018).

I frankly was caught in the middle with this book. Part of me really wanted to reread it. Part of me, felt scared, what if I don’t like it anymore?

This book, I deeply believe changed Rereading of The Lonely City by Olivia Laing (first back in 2018).

I frankly was caught in the middle with this book. Part of me really wanted to reread it. Part of me, felt scared, what if I don’t like it anymore?

This book, I deeply believe changed a lot of my life since I read it back in 2018, a pivotal year where life played cards I wasn’t ready to really face head first. I remember being in deep shame, navigating a difficult time, that in hindsight is devastating- no one should feel shame coping through hard things. I did back then, a lot.

This book was a glimmer of hope back then. I remember looking at the cover and I loved it. Why not?

This is a review of the book, in the sense that I am trying to make sense who I am now, in 2023, 5 years later, compared to this book, its origin. This book introduced David Wojnarowicz to my life - someone I since then have deeply revered. What if the book doesn’t live up to things? What then?

I definitely struggled to pick this book back up. I found the Hopper chapter quite brief and not quite in depth as I’d remember or like. It’s still good, if not great. Do I still love Hopper like I used to? He doesn’t come to my mind that actively anymore. I believe this to be true, that our faves -people who we have cherished, may shape-shift in our lives as the concept of time takes hold. It’s ok. We may outgrow, they may outgrow, regardless, it’s ok to acknowledge that can happen. I remember how much I loved Yayoi Kusama, and now, I barely think about her. But that should never take away from her. It’s understanding the landscape we are with each other and where we are with our own-selves.

I found the Warhol chapter increasingly frustrating. Frankly, Olivia’s writing back in 2018 mended my views on Warhol, who I didn’t quite find appealing for their work or being prior to my first reading of this book. However, upon this second read, I see him more clearly than ever before / and I find him and his work - deeply vapid and hollow. His constant need to hide and operate through machines, they all adds up to, quite literally, not much. I also found his own views around people suffering AIDS complications, quite devastating. I understand back then, all felt this deep pain and this deep lack of knowledge and understanding of AIDS didn’t help, and thus harboured harmless opinions of people suffering. But still, he was part of the community, so it was hard to accept such callous behaviour and attitude, and instead tells me - I do not think he ever really found out who he was.

However, I also realized I was being overtly harsh, and upon rereading the Henry Darger, David Wojnarowicz and Klaus Nomi chapters, I was reminded why I fell in love with this book so deeply in the first place. That it reminded me, 5 years in, the pain still runs within me - of when I understand the word - loneliness. It still exists, even with the increased confidence and I understanding I have for myself. These chapters - they aren’t afraid to talk about weighty topics like Attachment Theories or how loneliness quite literally kills with heightened stress. It breaks your heart, but it has wealth of compassion that Olivia is known for.

As I kept reading into the book, one of the underlying thread, that jumped out, is how and why she is using Warhol against the backdrop all along - more specifically, this becomes even more clear to me in the Josh Harris, internet surveillance essay. What I am gathering is that, peoples general understanding of antidote to loneliness is instead, being pervasively present via the internet. It gives this space where they can be all they ever wanted - at least in how they communicate and hide behind avatars, hoping no personal scrutiny is possible. The 15 mins of fame analogy, which beyond the trite title, highlights the need for collective attention to ourselves. Warhol epitomized this, and why a lot, myself included, detested this underlying need for attention from him and his work. At the end of the day, however misguided this want for attention is, it comes back to wanting intimacy. Humans are meant for touch, it’s in our core. Wanting the need to be close to more humans and their bodies. And if that comes by way of this internet life (get a co-sign, have someone say - yes, agreed, etc.), it seems like a quick fix - however heartbreaking it is for the long haul. It atrophies our ability to meaningfully engage with each other, especially in person. Empathy and its power is deeply lost. What arises, is this very sinistral energy - that becomes self centred / consuming and driven from ego. You can see it from afar as an observer of someone else, but it’s hard to see it in yourself when you are the one driving that kind of engagement in social media and the internet. Olivia was ahead of her time to try grapple with this so much- it’s heady but important.

In summary, 5 years since I first read it, I can confirm, I still love it - despite my deeper look into it. ...more "

progress:

(page 134 of 336)
— Feb 12, 2023 06:04PM

Feb 17, 2023 04:09PM · see review

Shadib’s Quotes

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire, 5-Book Boxed Set: A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, A Dance with Dragons

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“You swam in a river of chance and coincidence. You clung to the happiest accidents—the rest you let float by.”
― David Wroblewski, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

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“There's no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another. What leads to what. What destroys what. What causes what to flourish or die or take another course.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

tags: destiny, fate

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“Are you preparing for another war, Plutarch?" I ask.
"Oh, not now. Now we're in a sweet period where everyone agrees that our recent horrors should never be repeated," he says. "But collective thinking is usually short-lived. We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction. Although who knows? Maybe this will be it, Katniss.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

tags: hunger-games, katniss, mockingjay, suzanne-collins, war

165 likes