Ewan

“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

“If you call a random phone number and say “God bless you,” what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed?
—Mimi A. It’s hard to find good numbers on this, but it’s probably about 1 in 40,000.”
― Randall Munroe, What If? 10th Anniversary Edition: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?
—Rob Balder”
― Randall Munroe, What If? 10th Anniversary Edition: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“I HATE YOUUUUUU!!!”
― Jim Smith, My Mum is a Loser