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George Carlin
“I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...”
George Carlin

Chuck Palahniuk
“Just keep asking yourself: What would Jesus not do?”
Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Ernest Hemingway
“All thinking men are atheists.”
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
Marilyn Monroe

Scott Dikkers
“A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.”
Scott Dikkers, You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day

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