Max Sarmento

“New achievement! You’ve killed an armed mob with your bare fucking hands! Holy crap, dude. That’s kinda fucked up. Reward: You’ve received a Bronze Weapon Box!”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Tracked All-Terrain Suicide Machine. The Royal Chariot – Contraption. If a snowmobile got drunk on moonshine and had a sweaty, ill-advised night with a hillbilly’s coon-hunting ATV, this oversized birth defect of a vehicle would be the result.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Gate of the Feral Gods

“Here’s the thing. A vampire kill scene usually looks like the Wal-Mart toy aisle on Black Friday. In other words, vampires are notoriously messy when they get to a’slaughtering.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Money and power have to be a means, not an end, or you'll lead a joyless life.”
― Shirtaloon, He Who Fights with Monsters 2