Heidi

“First, if you participate in Movember, fuck you. Second, if you want to raise money for prostate cancer (a noble cause), do it the old-fashioned way, by either begging for it or exerting yourself physically for donations. Sitting on your ass and letting nature take its course above your upper lip is not the same thing as running a 10K at a local high school or breaking out the set of power tools your dad gave you as a housewarming present collecting dust in your garage and using them to go out and build a habitat for humanity.

Maybe I can raise money for rectal cancer by getting people to pledge a dollar every time I take a shit.

And third no one wants to see that horrific seventies pornstache growing like a caterpillar with cerebral palsy zigzagging across your face; you look like you're about to go door to door informing people that you're a registered sex offender who's just moved in next door and would their kids like to come out and was your windowless van for a dollar?

Fuck Movember. And November.”
― Ari Gold, The Gold Standard: Rules to Rule By

“I know that I have died before—once in November.”
― Anne Sexton

“Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.”
― Oscar Levant

“In November, people are good to each other. They carry pies to each other's homes and talk by crackling woodstoves, sipping mellow cider. They travel very far on a special November day just to share a meal with one another and to give thanks for their many blessings - for the food on their tables and the babies in their arms.”
― Cynthia Rylant, In November