Iluminada Fish

“Before she climbed into the car, I kindly let her know my back seats were very hard and very cold. Dead Eye Red responded, “Son, when I was your age, I would sit on a seat like this and smoke would appear!”
Somewhat surprised and tickled, I said, “Ma'am, no one will ever look under your car to see if it’s washed.” I really should have known better before I opened my big fat mouth. She said, “Son, no one is looking at my butt, but I wash it anyway!”
― Harold Phifer, Surviving Chaos: How I Found Peace at A Beach Bar

“If you become indignant, this elevates you to the plane of “intellectual.”
― Tom Wolfe

“I have decided it's my mind that's woman. It's my narrator. It's my relationship to myself, and oddly, nothing at all to do with my body.”
― Sara Pascoe

“You might think that, by now, people would have become accustomed to the idea of natural catastrophes. We live on a planet that is still cooling and which has fissures and faults in its crust; this much is accepted even by those who think that the globe is only six thousand years old, as well as by those who believe that the earth was "designed" to be this way. Even in such a case, it is to be expected that earthquakes will occur and that, if they occur under the seabed, tidal waves will occur also. Yet two sorts of error are still absolutely commonplace. The first of these is the idiotic belief that seismic events are somehow "timed" to express the will of God. Thus, reasoning back from the effect, people will seriously attempt to guess what sin or which profanity led to the verdict of the tectonic plates. The second error, common even among humanists, is to borrow the same fallacy for satirical purposes and to employ it to disprove a benign deity.”
― Christopher Hitchens