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Drew Magary
“Why don't you crawl up out of that door and go get fucked by a turtle?"
That's completely unrealistic, anatomically speaking. That's not even something the turtle would want.”
― Drew Magary, The Hike

Stephen  King
“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

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