Lizzy

“He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

“No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,”
― Jeaniene Frost, Once Burned

“There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

“Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic