Bob Frey

“Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result -- eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly -- in you.”
― Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

“You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.”
― George Burns

“Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.”
― Ogden Nash

“Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.”
― Peter De Vries